No one has student loan debt at Bourke Accounting. This is especially nice for me, as I’d feel kind of stupid spending 10-21 years paying off the ability to write a paper on Beowulf. Oddly enough, that’s not a talent most 9-5 jobs are really clamoring for (I know! I’m surprised, too!). Even though the current talk regarding the cancellation of student loan debt doesn’t affect us Bourkers outright, I think we’re all curious to see what happens.
Massachusetts Rep. Ayanna Pressley is a big fan of cancelling student debt. She feels that this will help to both “address racial inequalities and stimulate the economy” (Forbes.com). If every student debtor could stop chucking monthly payments down a well worth $30,000, of course, that would ease a lot of stress. Considering that student loan debt now exceeds $1.6 trillion (Forbes.com), that erasure would free up many and many dollars to rebuild the economy. All right, I’m with you so far.
College educations are good for Americans. Not only does one learn critical thinking, time management and responsibility, there’s also a lot more money to be made after graduation; the Federal Reserve reports that “college graduates earn 80% more than high school graduates” (Marketwatch.com). Obviously, an educated populace, blessed with financial solvency, would benefit the entire country. So yes, loan cancellation and free college educations would be beautiful things.
You know I hate to be the malcontent in the back of the room, but I see just a few problems with these lofty goals. Perhaps I’m puritanical, but I think debt cancellation really amounts to theft of services. So, you go to a good school, you’re taught by good teachers, you receive a good degree and then say, “Oh, being in debt is hard!” And then, the government says, “There, there, we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings! All is forgiven!” Of course college is expensive! A Tesla is, too, but I don’t hear anyone knocking on my door to hand me one.
Another problem with cancellation is the fact that school tuition is used for many things, not just a professor’s salary. When you consider utilities, security, insurance, maintenance – well, these expenditures add up. Who is going to pay for the cafeteria ice cream machine when it breaks down? And, isn’t it possible that professors would be laid off indefinitely, if that $1.6 trillion in debt just goes “poof”? Now Bernie Sanders (whom I have a mild crush on) suggests what he calls a “speculation tax, a small levy on every stock, bond or derivative sold in the US” (NPR.com) to pay for all of this. I swear I’m not pals with Ayn Rand, but wouldn’t this be penalizing those who have made solid choices? Also, this sort of seems like investors would be taxed twice. Is that fair?
Finally, as I’m petty and jealous, it would annoy me that all these people are entitled to a free education when I wasn’t (yes, yes, my parents helped a lot, but that’s not how I’m remembering it). I think people should pay their own way, within reason. For example, in Australia, student loans aren’t repaid until the borrower reaches a certain income level and there’s no interest involved (Marketwatch.com). It could be argued that some will never reach that level, leaving the debt unpaid anyway, but if Australia is still doing it, it must work.
While education is important, it’s hard. Those who would be educated must be willing to sacrifice. Much like free medical and free housing – I would love to see both – it’s simply not possible yet.
Bourke Accounting knows that education benefits everyone. However, until your student debt is erased, Bourke Accounting also knows how difficult it is to make ends meet. While your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer doesn’t have a magic word to make your life easier, they do have a lot of knowledge and a lot of advice. Why not make your world a better place by sitting down with a Bourke Accounting expert?
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
After this long weekend, my Bourke Accounting co-workers and I kind of creaked back into the office. We like our work, but for three lovely days, we enjoyed no employment responsibilities. I will be the first to admit that getting back into the work mindset takes a bit of acclimation. Also, while some of us did yard work (my industrious co-workers) and some of us just watched a lot of bad television (my own good self), we are on the mature side of 18 and we are achy.
Shuffling around my coffee maker, and feeling less than amazing, reminded me of America’s elderly population. Right now, there are about 1.4 million people living in nursing homes. However, the CDC suggests that by 2050, those requiring long-term care services will increase to 27 million (Legalzoom.com). Most nursing home workers, from custodians to officers, are wonderful and selfless people. And then, there are some who aren’t.
According to the US Department of Justice, at least 1 out of 10 elders is abused each year (NursingHomeAbuseCenter.com). The scariest thing about this statistic is that “only 1 out of nearly 24 elder abuse cases were actually reported” (NursingHomeAbuseCenter.com). For rational-minded people, the thought of senior abuse is repugnant. After a long life of working, loving, going to war and raising children the dubious reward is mistreatment at the hands of a sadist? Whether it’s emotional or physical abuse, there is a special, special place for people who hurt the defenseless.
Besides the torment of physical abuse, our elders are also susceptible to financial abuse. It’s a chilling fact that seniors lose “at least $2.6 billion a year” (NursingHomeAbuseCenter.com) through theft – and, again, that’s just the cases we know about. When looking at elder theft, we automatically think of shadowy relatives with substance abuse issues and bad intentions. Obviously, these miscreants are lurking, but we rarely consider that the smiling nursing home administrators are the exact same criminals, only with better cars.
We’ve all heard rumors of a future second stimulus check (maybe) on the horizon. If this second wave of money comes through, we’ll have to avoid the problems of the first payment. As soon as they smell money in the wind, the bad guys think of fairly clever plans to divest the rightful owners of their cut. Generally, the baddies prey on the uninformed with threats, promises and official sounding titles. However, almost as soon as the first stimulus checks went out, it was some of the very nursing homes entrusted with our loved ones’ care that were the perpetrators of mass theft.
The Federal Trade Commission had to go so far as to issue a warning to nursing homes to stop this practice. But why would the homes think they were entitled to this money in the first place? Whether through ignorance or malice, these facilities decided that Medicaid recipients owed their checks to them (Consumer.FTC.gov) simply for receiving Medicaid. However, what these administrators failed to realize is that the checks “are, according to the CARES Act, a tax credit [and] tax credits don’t count as ‘resources’ for federal benefits programs” (Consumer.FTC.gov). From the articles I’ve read, it doesn’t appear that those paying for care out of pocket or with insurance had their checks taken, so this lends even dirtier connotations to the whole scandal.
I’ve mentioned before that it’s our duty to protect our most vulnerable citizens. That $1,200 is grandma’s – if she chooses to blow it on the slots or start a college fund for grandkids, let’s make sure this money stays in her pocket.
At Bourke Accounting, we respect seniors – seniors have had to deal with this crazy world longer and that, in itself, is cause for congratulations. If you or someone you know has experienced elder financial abuse, come and speak to a Bourke Accounting expert. A Bourke Accounting pro can guide you in gathering all of the financial material required as a first step towards justice.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
On my first day at Bourke Accounting, Bill asked if I’d rather be called “Susan” or “Sue.” I’ve never liked either name, but since only nuns and angry people call me “Susan,” I’m Sue. At the end of the day, it’s just a name and I don’t really care (“Susie” is and always will be provocation for mild violence, however).
Generally, what we call a thing isn’t very important. A name isn’t important, that is, until the people decide it is. Take, for example, Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. T or C was originally named Hot Spring in 1916 because, well, there’s a lot of hot springs (WorldAtlas.com). Then, in 1950, Ralph Edwards told the audience listening to his Truth or Consequences radio quiz show that he’d “air this show from a town that would change its name to match the name of the program” (WorldAtlas.com). Applications were sent, Hot Spring was chosen and all of the residents voted to change their town’s name (WorldAtlas.com). I think Ralph Edwards was sort of like the mean kid who dares the friendless kid to eat a bug and then tells everyone how gross he is. But that’s just me.
This sort of commercialized degradation worked out for T or C, though. Edwards came back every year for the next 50 to help the town celebrate “Fiesta.” This is a, still occurring, weekend long festival that features bands, food, karaoke, shows and tours (SierraCountyNewMexico.info). From the pictures, it looks like fun.
As we’ve seen in recent weeks, names are on the minds of a lot of Americans. For instance, people are fighting to rid cities of things named after Christopher Columbus. This makes sense, as history tells us that Columbus was responsible for the mutilation and enslavement of thousands of human beings. I have no problem with changing names that still hurt a battered country. I do, however, wonder if some people are paying attention to the alternate names they are considering.
Look at Columbus, OH. Change.org has a petition with more that 117,000 signatures to rename the city “Flavortown” (ABC6OnYourSide.com) to honor reality cooking show star and Columbus native, Guy Fieri. A few problems with this: Fieri moved from Ohio when he was just a kid, he doesn’t visit often (ABC6OnYourSide.com) and “Flavortown” is the stupidest, most pandering, cheapening advertisement disguised as a wannabe town name ever. Oh, and Guy Fieri has been accused of sexism, racism, homophobia and anti-Semitism (Soyummy.com). So, yeah, there’s that.
If Columbus residents want to change the name of their home, more power to them. I don’t think a reality star who is allegedly against everyone is the best choice, though. Who would be a better Columbus native to name the city after? Hmm…maybe Granville T. Woods, the first African American mechanical and electrical engineer who held over 50 patents (OnlyinyourState.com)? Oh, no, I guess renaming your city after some bleached blond from cable television will really make it pop.
Your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer will call you anything you like. Bourke Accounting believes in respecting the individual while providing the best service possible. And don’t worry, you’ll always be able to find Bourke Accounting under “B” – we will never change our name to “Pepsi-Cola Refreshing Accounting.”
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Bill dropped the most recent Kiplinger Tax Letter on my Bourke Accounting desk this morning. I was working on something about staying safe for a fun summer (I’ll have to try again, I was boring myself), so I decided to take a break and see what ol’ Kiplinger had to say. “Well, I’ll be dipped,” I said to myself when I reached the end of the pamphlet. The IRS is back in town.
While a few states have already opened their offices, Kiplinger reports that all IRS offices are slated to open on July 13 (Vol. 95, No. 13). Maybe it’s just me, but the idea of closed and dark IRS offices – stained coffee makers gently rotting amid the dustmotes – was very unwholesome to me. Now I feel better that the IRS is open for business, but I know of one group who won’t.
Back in January, I told you that the IRS doesn’t have enough workers to perform as many audits as they’d like. Well, either a lot of agents were trained over quarantine or priorities have changed; starting July 15 (two days after they reopen), the IRS will “start examinations of several hundred high-net-worth taxpayers” (WealthManagement.com). Why the sudden interest in the Bill Gates of the world? Not being an economist, I have two theories anyway. My first theory is that the IRS had its feelings hurt when the recent Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration’s report accused the organization of failing “to address high-income non-filers” (WealthManagement.com). This study estimated that 34% of these high-end taxpayers owed “an estimated $45.7 billion in taxes” (WealthManagement.com) for the years 2014 until 2016. When Big Daddy TIGTA slaps your nose, you feel it.
My second theory – again, not based on knowledge – is that this is a plan designed to replace corona-spent cash. Obviously, taxes can’t be raised, no one would support a wealth tax during an election year and, as far as I know, money trees are still a thing of sweet fantasy. Interestingly, these “examinations” of the rich will be hellacious: the IRS is going to look at all businesses (here and abroad), transfers to kids and kin, bank and investment accounts (here, there and everywhere), offshore transactions, family limited partnerships, foundations and estate planning transactions (Kiplinger, Vol. 95, No. 13). Also, the auditors will “employ a matching program to review across different accounts and reporting documents” (Winston.com). Finally, these auditors will be able to “obtain the books and records of any companies in which the taxpayer holds a financial interest” (Winston.com).
If you happen to be one of the lucky high-income audit winners, remember to be kind – all the bigger organizations are picking on your auditor. If you thought the IRS was humorless before, this newly released report probably stole the last giggle from its collective throat. Make sure to cheer your auditor up with a nutritious and tasty snack!
Bourke Accounting tax preparers aren’t hoping that you get audited this year, but they’re more than ready if you do. Besides being conscientious, Bourke Accounting pros have a lot of energy. This will come in handy if the IRS decides to meticulously pick apart the last three years of your financial life. Your Bourke Accounting expert is always available to battle the IRS for you!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
We look around our burning and confused world and ask 2020, “What’d we ever do to you?” There’s a golfer hiding in the White House basement, busily retweeting racist things (and claiming ignorant innocence later). Everyone’s killing each other. News sources are warning of a second wave when the first hasn’t even broken yet. In early May, one third of Americans reported feeling anxiety and depression (USNews.com). We are undeniably sad and lost.
Because of these terrible facts, I want to get a little weird and a little unnecessary now. If you feel like forgetting things for a minute, come along and get weirdly unnecessary with me:
1) Don’t throw money down the toilet. As you know, a lot of us are financially damaged, however, every time you sit down, you’re sitting on a goldmine! According to the CDC, nearly half a million people suffer from Clostridioides difficile infections, a bacterium that causes severe gastrointestinal distress, each year. OpenBiome is a nonprofit organization that is combatting this ailment with their cutting-edge research, fecal transplants and a little help from you (OpenBiome.org). With OpenBiome and your poop donations, you can earn up to $13,000 a year and serve the public! Not only that, but OpenBiome offers prizes to “donors who make the most donations [and] provide the biggest sample” (IFLScience.com)!
2) Let’s learn from the bonobos! Bonobo chimpanzees are cute furry guys who share more than “98 percent of our genetic profile” (ScientificAmerican.com). And bonobos do like to share: they share food, parenting responsibilities and they really share their bodies. Unlike other chimps, bonobos aren’t aggressive. For example, if food is offered to a group of bonobos, they won’t fight over it; instead, everyone participates in a lovefest and then eats dinner (ScientificAmerican.com). Every conflict that these chimps face is met with lovemaking and grooming rather than blood and teeth. Also, their orientation is fluid to the point of nonexistence – if a female is angry with another female, let’s just say the ill-will doesn’t lead to a brawl, as they’re otherwise occupied. And they’re friendly – if a strange bonobo wanders into an established group, there is no vying for dominance. I think you know how the group gets to know the stranger (ScientificAmerican.com) – bonobos are true swingers (couldn’t resist). Two last things: bonobos won’t practice their conflict resolution skills with any member too closely related to them and they like passionately kissing (ScientificAmerican.com)! So, the next time you want to fight, think: What would a bonobo do?
3) That is your shirt! Have you ever seen someone wearing a shirt that looks exactly like your lost 1972 Stones concert tee? If you lost luggage at the airport, it very well might be your shirt. Airlines keep unclaimed luggage for five days; after that, they either donate the bags or sell them to a company like The Unclaimed Baggage Center (Science.HowStuffWorks.com). Want a calf hair belt or diabetic socks? The Unclaimed Baggage Center has both in stock right now!
Knowing about bonobos won’t change our lives, but it’s good that there are still mildly weird and harmless things out there. And I could be wrong, maybe learning about unclaimed baggage will inspire our next peacemaker to bring about an era of harmony and respect.
Although our Bourke Accounting pros are strong, they need a break from harsh reality once in a while, too. So, when you’re sitting across from your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer, don’t hesitate to share a little-known nugget of information. While Bourke Accounting experts know a lot, they’re always interested in learning more.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I was filling in for Phil the other day here at Bourke Accounting. Bill asked me to turn on the high-def TV and put something unoffensive on – Phil usually chooses some sort of pastoral scene with gently swaying flowers. Technology scares me and I was looking at two remote controls (my TV at home is from 1981). After button smushing I, happily accidentally, arrived at something like “10 Hours – Aquarium for Relaxation.” All of a sudden, contented and colorful fish were swimming across the screen! Bill came back, glanced at the TV, and mused, “That’s nice. What else can we do to keep from going crazy?”
With the current state of our world, stress has become a familiar thorn in our collective side. However, if we’re being honest, even before the current state, anxiety was no stranger to us. For example, stress “causes around one million workers to miss work every day” (Stress.org). Not only that, but work-related stress causes “120,000 deaths and results in $190 billion in healthcare costs yearly” (Stress.org). With grim numbers like that, Bill is right to question what can be done.
One option is The Calm Booth by ROOM. This thing looks like a coffin standing up (and it might be straight out of the psych ward), but it’s much more than that! It’s soundproof, it has a frosted door for privacy, soft lighting, “a beautiful and soothing misty forest interior” (Blog.calm.com) AND 12 subscriptions to the Calm app – all for the low, low price of $4,195 (Room.com)! When workers are stressed, they can go sit in a phone booth coffin, listen to Nature Soundscapes and “return to work refreshed, relaxed, happier and more creative” (Blog.calm.com). I guess.
For employers who are not insane, let’s move on. This next one is an idea that Bourke Accounting implements and it works: personalizing your space. Bill allows us to paint our walls any color we choose. In addition, we’re welcome to pick wall hangings and knickknacks – I have a seriously cool Edie Sedgwick print and an Alice and Wonderland clock. This is important because, as we spend at least eight hours a day in these spaces, they ought to reflect our personalities. In addition, surrounding yourself with pretty and familiar objects creates a comfortable little cradle where you can escape without leaving the building. And painting lasts longer than the Calm app.
Another calming idea is living things. I inherited a hanging tree plant-thing named Marc. When I can’t think of a word, I ask Marc’s opinion (many of us talk to ourselves at Bourke, so no one is sending me to The Calm Booth quite yet) and, more often than not, I get my word. Also, plants brighten up a room, “bring in moisture and help clean indoor air” (Henryford.com). Finally, “studies show plants reduce stress” (Henryford.com). As humans are naturally nurturing creatures, watering and pruning plants might give us a little burst of altruistic energy, too.
By why stop at plants? If a televised aquarium is relaxing, the real thing must be fantastic. When pressure strikes, gazing into a peaceful world beneath the water can only make things better; channel your inner goldfish and become centered. Bill brings his labs, Loretta and Tess, to work and nothing takes the edge off better than Milk-Bone-scented puppy kisses. There is a reason why emotional support animals have become widely utilized in our uncomfortable modern world.
A tranquil work environment can be accomplished. Whether you spend five minutes practicing yoga or taking a walk on a sunny day, figure out what works for you. We’re all grown ups here and it’s up to us to take care of ourselves.
Bourke Accounting is a pretty stress-free place. If you find yourself at the bottom of a problem mountain, let a Bourke Accounting pro serenely guide you to a peaceful resolution. Your Bourke Accounting specialist has seen it all and trouble doesn’t stand a chance.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
None who attacks them can escape, and none can catch them if they desire not to be found – Herodotus, on the Scythians – 5th Century BCE
Over here at Bourke Accounting, Bill breezed by and, nonchalantly, asked what I was working on (sometimes he wonders what he’s paying me for). In a perfectly rambling manner, I explained my obsession and love for the Scythian people. Bill’s eyes glazed appreciably as he subtly backed away and disappeared around the corner. I haven’t seen him for quite a while now.
I first learned about the Scythians back in college and it’s a society that has stuck with me these many years. The Scythians were a group of nomads who hung out around Siberia from about 900 BCE to 200 BCE (Blog.BritishMuseum.org). Yeah, I know, that definition doesn’t exactly inspire adoration, but wait! There’s more! First off, the Scythians were pure terrors on horseback. Not only were they the best riders in the area, they were such great horse breeders that Clearsky Farms would be envious. And once on horseback, the Scythians were one of the first groups to use mounted warfare with one of the “earliest fully composite bows” (Archeryhistorian.com). These bows were shorter than those of their enemies and a lot more accurate. In addition, Scythians made sure their enemies didn’t get up again by poisoning their arrowheads with Scythicon – a mixture of putrefied vipers, human blood and animal poop (Historyhit.com).
Besides being the fiercest fighters in the land, Scythians were hardcore partiers. They got drunk often and had a ritual based around “getting high on hemp in a kind of mobile ‘weed sauna’” (Blog.BritishMuseum.org). After battling and riding for hours, the Scythians understood and respected the medicinal attributes of wacky tabaccy. Not to be mistaken for Burning Man attendees, the Scythians were also heavily tattooed with intricate animal designs, using methods that closely resemble modern tattooing (Blog.BritishMuseum.org).
One other thing: all of the above were the common, day-to-day activities of both men and women. For example, women would “remain virgins until they could kill three of their enemies” (En.Wikipedia.org) in battle. My professor said this was because a woman had to prove her strength in order to show that she was worthy of childrearing and marriage (the same was expected of boys). Another example of the equality between men and women showed in their burial rites. When Scythians died, they were mummified and buried with all of the weaponry and honors befitting a warrior (including their sacrificed horse, sadly) (Ancient-origins.net); discovered remains show that “over a third of the…skeletons…are typed as females with heavy battle scarring” (Vice.com). It’s believed by anthropologists that Scythians were labeled “barbarians” by their contemporaries because of the equal opportunities shared by the sexes (Ancient-origins.net). For example, women of Greece (the closest comparable culture) had no political rights and were “controlled by men at nearly every stage of their lives” (Penn. Museum). Scythian women were obviously not the gentle and perfumed creatures sequestered inside well-appointed homes.
Scythian culture was based on equality, nobility and courage (and weed and blood). Because the ladies were expected to carry their weight, the Scythians were able to utilize their entire population toward a common goal. When everyone is included and respected, everyone wins.
Bourke Accounting women are as highly trained as Bourke Accounting men (and just as fierce with the IRS). Bourke Accounting doesn’t believe in different standards for different folks. When you sit down with your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer, our promise of accuracy and efficiency is of the greatest import and it really shows.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, I am the only one without children. So, when my co-workers tell me the things their kids do, I listen as intently as a sociologist learning about a bizarre and lost civilization. It doesn’t matter if my colleagues are recounting tantrums or “I love you, Mom” cards, it’s all so interesting and alien. But when one of my co-workers told me about The Jump Prank, a viral sensation that some kids are into, I had to do some investigating.
Let me start by saying that the pranks my friends and I pulled were fairly tame. “Ring and Run” was good for a few laughs. We even did the flaming dog poop in the bag trick – except we thought putting poop in a bag was rude and we never had the nerve to light it, so really, we just left paper bags on the neighbors’ doorsteps. I must admit, though, kids today are a little scary:
1) The Jump Prank (or Skull Breaker Challenge). I don’t usually believe cautionary internet horror stories, but a demonstration was included in an article I read and I was actually able to witness this. It starts with three people where one, the victim, has no idea what’s going on. The two culprits angle themselves on either side of the target and say something along the lines of, “Let’s see who can jump the highest!” When the clueless one jumps, the others kick the legs out from under her/him. It’s the height of entertainment to watch a pal smack that cranium into the concrete, right? Obviously, this little trick can cause a lot of damage. In November of last year, this prank caused so much damage that Emanuela Medeiros, aged 16, died after her “friends” pulled it on her (Somersetlive.co.uk).
2) Drano Bombs. Similar to the fun of watching a friend suffer cracked vertebrae, some little savages think blowing fingers off is comedy at its finest. With this prank, aluminum foil, Drano and water are placed in a plastic bottle; the chemical reaction “releases hydrogen gas” (Snopes.com). The bottle is placed in a mailbox or on a lawn. When an unsuspecting victim picks up the bottle, the bottle explodes. Besides the harm the explosion causes, the victim is drenched with caustic chemicals that burn the skin and can lead to blindness (Rare.us). When I read that authorities have warned against picking up discarded bottles on front lawns, I thought that this reeked of “urban legend” (IHeart.com). However, over the decades, children have been arrested for creating these bombs (News.WBFO.org, Fox19.com) and people have been injured (ABC7NY.com).
I didn’t have to pass Psychology 101 to know that the brains of kids aren’t done baking and that they have trouble understanding the repercussions of their actions. The kids aren’t evil – they’re just very, very stupid. To avoid having your kid end up on the local 5 o’clock news, here are a few bits of advice for you: talk to your kids, check out her/his computer’s search history and caution them against cracking skulls and blowing off appendages. Look at that! It’s almost a pity that I didn’t want kids – I, obviously, have this parenting thing down!
Bourke Accounting experts won’t kick your legs out from under you. In fact, if the world blows off a finger, your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer will be the one to find it for you. Bourke Accounting professions will do everything in their power to keep you financially secure and physically intact in a world filled with sharp objects.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Forgive my intrusion, but fine as those sentiments sound / Little has changed for us peasants down here on the ground – “The Actress Hasn’t Learned the Lines” – Evita
At Bourke Accounting, Bill is the leader – what he says goes. However, he’s not a megalomaniac; if he is presented with coherent evidence regarding why an idea is not feasible, he will concede. I am not a leader (I’m paranoid and don’t want anyone behind me). I am also not a follower, as I find it difficult to blindly allow someone to make decisions for me. Maybe it’s my Gemini nature or maybe I just can’t be bothered.
Because of my reluctance to “play along,” I started thinking of celebrities. The last time I emulated a celebrity, I was 8-years old, wearing jelly bracelets and pretending to be Madonna. Years later, I cringed as the Michigan native spouted nonsense in an unbearable British accent. Had she suffered a severe brain trauma or, more likely, was she a victim of inflated self-importance? The lines of reality have softened when one is furious over not being allowed to use a cryogenic chamber on one’s brand new plane (Thelifeandtimesofhollywood.com).
We’ve seen celebrities do bizarre and anti-social things simply because they could – that’s not new. However, I am constantly amazed when fans imitate that behavior. For example, when Paris Hilton began to carry chihuahuas as fashion accessories, it was vaguely disgusting. Then, animal rescue workers noticed the number of these little dogs surrendered had risen to make up a third of all dogs in shelters (TheGuardian.com). I’m guessing that these fans didn’t have much patience when Ms. Fuzzy Wuzzy Snookums pooped inside of an expensive purse. Dogs need care? I’m surprised, too.
An even darker trend took place in 2014 after Robin Williams committed suicide. In the four months following his death, studies showed a “10% increase in suicides” (CNN.com). It could have been caused by the 24-hour news cycle, a steadily more depressed society or a combination of the two. It could have also been the last straw for people already suffering from disordered thinking: if a rich and beloved star can’t be happy, there’s no hope for the rest of us. While celebrities are real people, with real emotions, they must also be aware that their actions are capable of influencing some of the masses.
Whether it’s supporting animal rights, the environment or attending our current protests, I always question the motivations of celebrities. For example, I find the practice of celebrities posting pictures of themselves at protests problematic. If the message is the important part, why do we have a very determined – and maskless (we wouldn’t recognize him otherwise, duh!) – Ben Affleck posing for pictures? While some really do believe in the cause, I think others are there simply to be seen. And interestingly enough, these tourists are not like you and me. As soon as it gets dark, or violent, these celebrities have the option to quietly and safely retreat to gated communities. After spending two hours walking down a sunny street, they won’t have to live among the ashes if fires break out. While everyone is lauding these brave stars for demonstrating with the people, I dare you to try to protest amongst the Beverly Hills mansions.
America allows for differing opinions and that’s great. However, don’t follow what anyone tells you to do if repercussions aren’t equally shared. And remember, stars are just people with better hair.
Bourke Accounting experts aren’t easily led. Bourke Accounting experts also aren’t very impressed by money and status. No matter who you are, you will be treated just like everyone else when you sit down with your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer. In short, you will be treated as an equal with the capacity to make up your own mind.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I just realized that I have never gotten an internal parasite from eating lunch at Bourke Accounting’s weekly staff meeting. As internal parasites are one of my greatest fears (2nd only to bedbugs), I am pleased by this streak of good luck. However, since some of you may be traveling this summer, I decided that a public service message was in order. So, for everyone hitting that open road, here are three hitchhikers to avoid picking up:
1) Tapeworms. Tapeworm infections aren’t common in the US; the CDC estimates that fewer than 1,000 people are infected each year (Health.com). Since the longest worm ever found in a human was 82 feet long, it pays to be careful, though (Healthfacts.blog). Tapeworms may enter our bodies if we eat the undercooked meat of an infected animal. Then, they set up camp to share in our dinner plans. Interestingly, tapeworms have evolved their craft to the point where they, generally, don’t cause many symptoms; “when they do, it’s usually a stomachache, diarrhea or weight loss” (Health.com). If the worm and the human are able to get along, the worm lives “for up to a few years” (Health.com) and dies, whereupon the human’s body either absorbs the dead critter or passes it. However, the pork tapeworm is a different customer: this one can live in your brain, cause seizures and death (Health.com). This infection is caused by eating pork worm eggs “directly from infected human fecal matter” (Health.com). So, make sure you wash your hands and the hands of others. Often.
2) The Human Botfly. This fly lives in Central and South America and, while the fly itself doesn’t cause disease, her babies are evil. The botfly grabs a carrier (usually a mosquito), glues a bunch of eggs to her underside and lets her go (Wired.com). When the mosquito gets close to a human, the human’s body heat causes the eggs to hatch, allowing the babies to tumble onto the victim (Wired.com). The kids either slide down the hole the skeeter made or any other cuts that might be available (Wired.com). The baby then makes whatever hole bigger and shoves its face further in, “the opposite end barely pokes out the skin, allowing the larva to breathe” (Wired.com). They breathe out of their butts, I guess. As they get older, the host usually notices something’s up – botflies “rotate in their little burrows…creating this sort of intense shooting periodic pain” (Wired.com). Womenshealthmag.com suggests covering the botfly hole with bacon, nail polish or petroleum jelly to suffocate it before pulling it out. If you’d like to let it grow up in a good home though, let it be. After about three months, these guys will just sort of fall out and squish away (Wired.com).
3) Loa Loa. This is known as the “eye worm” (Businessinsider.com). Can you guess when it hangs out? If you get bitten by an infected deer fly in Africa, you’ve just made yourself a new pal! After Loa Loa gets inside of its victim, “the worm begins floating around tissue…until it stops and causes swelling and irritation in that spot” (Businessinsider.com). Your vision will usually be fine, but Loa Loa can “be painful when moving about the eyeball or across the bridge of the nose” (Web.stanford.edu). Besides being visible in the eye, they can also sometimes be seen slithering under the skin. Surgery can be used to get them out of eyes and there are medications available to clear up the entire little colony (CDC.gov). Oh, and by the way, they can live inside of you for up to 17 years (Businessinsider.com).
You know what? Don’t go anywhere. Don’t go anywhere, don’t eat anything – let’s just hide under the bed.
You won’t contract any of the above at Bourke Accounting. And if you must go traveling soon, make sure you see your Bourke Accounting pro first; filing your returns before July 15th with a Bourke Accounting expert will make your vacation so much more relaxing. Also, your Bourke Accounting prepared tax return refund will come in handy! Happy (and safe) travels!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.