At Bourke Accounting, we don’t really exhibit any exotic phobias. While we may be a little quirky over here, we’re not going to keep any psychologists riveted. While I suspect that Bookkeeper Christina might be suffering from atychiphobia (fear of failure), that’s kind of a good thing, as she’s a perfectionist in a specialized career. Also, her (alleged and Sue-diagnosed) phobia doesn’t seem to negatively affect her life.
Some phobias make sense. Vaguely fearing things that can actually harm us, like heights (acrophobia), spiders (arachnophobia) and disease (nosophobia), are simply primitive self-preservation skills with fancy names. The problem arises, obviously, when these phobias take over and disrupt one’s capabilities to live life. While some phobias have been normalized in our culture, there are some that just have me bumfuzzled:
1. Omphalophobia. This is the deep-seated fear of belly buttons – one’s own and everyone else’s. Many sufferers live in constant fear that there’s a possibility of belly buttons coming “unraveled” and dumping internal organs on the sidewalk. While, logically, they are aware that this can’t happen, it doesn’t stop the dread. These people will avoid places where navels are likely to be displayed and, if they happen to be surprised by an outie, they are overwhelmed with “panic, horror or terror” (Healthline.com).
2. Arachibutyrophobia. This one is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. It doesn’t really have anything to do with peanuts themselves, but more the weird feeling of having to scrape something out of one’s mouth. In addition, psychologists believe that it’s closely related to pseudodysphagia (fear of choking) and, generally, is caused by either an unfortunate incident with a PB&J sandwich or possibly even an early experience with food allergies (Verywellmind.com).
3. Ergophobia. Fear of work. No, really. Okay, I’m sensitive, but let me call BS on this one for cause: I had a friend who was on disability benefits because she suffered from ergophobia. She couldn’t work because getting up early, being told what to do, showing up every single day, being on time and being around people caused anxiety and depression. Oddly, she had no problem going to crowded bars or being punctual for concerts. Maybe this is a legitimate diagnosis for some people, but I haven’t met them and I remain skeptical.
4. Amaxophobia. The fear of driving. This one is real! For people with amaxophobia, like my good self, a quick jaunt to the grocery store fills us with pure, unadulterated terror. What if I get lost? What if I hit another car? What if I hit a squirrel? I have been in one accident and it was so minor that it wasn’t even lightly traumatic. I have no idea when or why I developed this phobia. Bookkeeper Christina is trying to help me in her no-nonsense way, though. When an errand must be run, she sweetly requests my assistance, provides an address and very specific directions. She knows my pride will generally overrule my fear.
Anyone living with a phobia knows how truly awful they can be. Thankfully, there are a lot of treatment options available. Some therapists will help the sufferer to discover and come to terms with the early traumas that might have caused the phobia. Other therapists use exposure therapy, where they gently and gradually introduce the phobia causing object to the patient (this is pretty much what Christina is attempting with me). If you have a phobia, there is help out there and we can get through this.
If you have arithmophobia (fear of math), Bourke Accounting is the place to be. Your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer will keep all those bad numbers away and do all the work for you! No matter what esoteric phobia you live with, your Bourke Accounting pro can make your life easier and better. And remember to ask Bookkeeper Christina for an exposure therapy plan to fit your needs!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
It’s a hot and sticky summer night. The stagnant air is alive with the buzzing of cicadas. Oh, no! What’s that slithering through the grass? It’s a venomous copperhead! You’ve never seen a copperhead in your yard before! Why is it here? Oh, right, those cicadas. As it turns out, copperheads very much enjoy cicadas, so if you have these lumbering buzz-machines hanging around, watch where you walk at night.
Yes, the predators of the natural world are drawn to the vulnerable, the oblivious and the protein dense. When you stop to think about it, copperheads share a lot of the same qualities as a certain type of human. Although we’ve talked about scammers before, it pays to remember that they are constantly lurking and evolving. While the end result of befriending scammers is always the same – your money in their wallet – the ways in which they achieve this change minute by minute.
The most important goal of a predator is survival. It’s because of this that the current group of thieves have discovered gift cards in a big way; halfway through 2019, $74 million was already lost to gift card scammers (AARP.org). While talking victims out of credit card numbers was never problematic, the traceability of the endeavor was (Againstscammers.com). Gift cards shield the perpetrator from identification and ensures that the victim will never see their money again. The best part, for the scammer, is that it’s just so blessed easy.
For instance, this year Katrina Whitaker needed a car. As luck would have it, she found one on Facebook at an amazing price. The seller asked for $1,400 to be paid in eBay gift cards, claiming it was for the safety of both of them. Whitaker then received an email from “eBay,” requesting the card codes so that the money could be held in trust; if Whitaker didn’t like the car (which was being shipped), she’d get her money back. By the time Whitaker understood that the car wasn’t coming, it was too late. The cards had been used and Whitaker’s bank informed her that, since the gift cards had been bought legitimately, there was nothing they could do (Courier-journal.com). If Whitaker had realized that she’d been cheated before the cards were used (how could she not have realized?), the funds could have been frozen. However, once that money’s gone, it doesn’t leave a forwarding address.
While I don’t want to blame the victims of gift card fraud, I’m going to. Since when are gift cards better than good old cash money? A mixture of greed and mad dog dumb decisions are keeping scammers fat. Speaking of greed and the certifiably stupid, “sugar babies” are now being targeted, too. If you don’t know, a sugar baby is a person who receives support from a wealthier patron. In exchange, the sugar baby offers nothing more than platonic companionship all the way up to…um…intimate adult fun time. With this scam, the patron offers to pay off the sugar baby’s credit cards. Once the baby provides their account information, it would appear that the debt has been paid. Then, the patron demands gift cards in appreciation; for some reason, the baby complies and provides the codes. The accounts used to pay off the credit cards are fake, the money disappears from the gift cards and now the baby is in a lot of debt (Fraud.org). While no one deserves to be a victim, isn’t a sugar baby just a prospective scammer in the first place?
There is no such thing as getting something for nothing. Don’t trust strangers on the internet and certainly don’t give out information or money. Easy as that.
Bourke Accounting experts don’t want you to meet a scammer. If you suffer a momentary lapse of judgement, however, your Bourke Accounting specialist can create a plan to help get you back on track again. In a world lousy with nefarious con artists, your Bourke Accounting pro is honest and dedicated – and they’ll never ask you for gift cards.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, I am often accused of leaning towards the “dark side.” While my co-workers are now dressed in summery pastels and floral prints, I’m still favoring mostly black. Bookkeeper Mary regales us with funny stories about her grandchildren; I wonder aloud if the bubonic squirrel found in Colorado is a harbinger of the apocalypse. Even though I am terribly mysterious and macabre (but fun at parties!), I hate to be stereotyped. Walk with me while I channel my inner Mary Poppins, won’t you?
The Black Death did a lot of good for the world. While it’s true that bubonic was responsible for the decimation of one third of Europe, that doesn’t mean it was all bad. For example, it made the population stronger. People who survived it had “their genes altered to make them more resistant to disease” (Listverse.com). In addition, researchers have discovered that, pre-plague, only ten percent of folks lived past 70; after, that number was up to 20 percent (Listverse.com). Also, just look what it did for art. Before bubonic, if art wasn’t based on religious concepts, it was considered “devil’s work” (Listverse.com). During the plague, artists realized that the citizens needed a laugh. Since there weren’t that many great religious one-liners, writers winged it and we all applaud.
While it’s difficult to see the good while the bad is still happening, there might be some positive to come out of our current situation. For instance, the coronavirus has shown how much power the “little” people actually have. The Independent Restaurant Coalition reports that about 85% of non-chain restaurants could close by next year because of poor sales related to the virus (Restaurantdive.com). While this prediction is dismal, the implication is stunning. Imagine if we all got together and said, “We’re tired of using gasoline in our cars – make us one that only uses air.” Obviously, the entire country agreeing on anything as a bloc is something out of a sci-fi fairytale, but the concept remains. The citizens hold the purse strings, and the power, not the corporations or the government.
Another good thing to come out of all of this (which I hope becomes permanent) is that restaurant servers and 1099 contract workers were able to share in unemployment benefits. Also, while I didn’t agree with handing out that extra $600 a week, I know that many were very pleased to have received it. Between that and the stimulus checks, there’s no doubt that a lot of Americans were able to stay fed and in their homes. Although there were quite a few hiccups regarding the checks and $1,200 wasn’t going to make anyone independently and forever wealthy, it was an effort. Did our elected officials decide to do this to ensure that we didn’t revolt as one? Maybe. However, I’d like to think that the motivation was of a more humanitarian nature.
Finally, the coronavirus showed the country that the jobs that pay the least are also those that are the most important; most of us are still more interested in a loaf of bread than a Brazilian butt lift. Sadly, with our rocky economy and problems inherent in raising the minimum wage, I’m not sure how we could pay these workers what they’re really worth. While acknowledging how important they are is great, I think they’d like a more concrete “thank you” in the coming months.
We’ve lost so much to this virus. Nothing will change that. Perhaps if we really try, though, we can use this terrible time to bring about lasting and important good for all. It’s worth a try.
Like the Black Death, your Bourke Accounting expert can snatch something beneficial from the most negative circumstances. Whether your business is just reopening or the IRS is on your trail, your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer is available to save your hide with a smile. Your Bourke Accounting pro is that silver lining you were looking for without knowing it.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
No one likes to think about what would happen to them if rational decision making was no longer possible. An accident or the evil march of time can steal more than our physical mobility. At Bourke Accounting, everyone has a plan to make sure that their wishes are honored in a worst-case scenario (except for me, but I’m still pretty sure that I’m indestructible). While having a will is an important first step, it’s not the only step. Documenting what you want to happen after you’re gone is great, but what if you haven’t quite left the building yet?
Recently, I came across a weird article about the “Free Britney Spears Movement.” I assumed that Ms. Spears was facing arrest after maybe attacking another car with rain gear, but it’s more complicated than that. Beginning in 2007, Spears started to lose the thread – divorce, publicly shaving her head, losing her kids and ending up in rehab/psychiatric hospitals made for a few bad years. Because of her erratic behavior, Spears has been “held under a conservatorship since 2008,” with her father, Jamie Spears, originally appointed as sole conservator (Elle.com). Her father, who petitioned the court, has testified that she is suffering from early onset dementia (Yourtango.com), which, of course, could be a side effect of being sold to the Disney Channel at age 11.
If you don’t know, a conservatorship is a “form of legal guardianship of an adult” (Smartasset.com). These are granted when the courts decide that a person no longer understands what’s going on, can’t take care of basic needs and might harm her/himself or others. While there are a few different types, Spears is under a temporary (yeah, 12 years temporary), financial conservatorship, meaning that it’s meant to last for a specific time period and that she has no control over her estate or financial and personal assets (Businessinsider.com). As she is worth millions, Spears’ fans believe that the fair princess is being held captive by her nefarious and greedy father.
So now, as the stunning result, there are fans brandishing “#FreeBritney” signs outside of courthouses. As the internet is pure logic incarnate, fans are convinced that Spears is begging for help using hidden messages in her social media posts; they are decoding them and many have come to the conclusion that she is being held captive, as well as being trafficked (Yourtango.com). In one TikTok post, Spears twitches in and out of frame, twirls around and looks somewhat unhinged. Seriously, at any time, you expect her to turn into the scary little dead girl from The Ring. I’m sorry, Britney, but the others will have to save you – I’m just not understanding your message.
The Spears Saga is indicative of the importance of future planning. As Spears is experiencing, someone she wouldn’t have chosen has had power over her daily life for years. Don’t think this couldn’t happen to you if you fail to make decisions now (you know how your little brother spends all of his money on Hot Wheels cars? Yeah, he could be making your stock picks). Before the court makes a choice for you, it’s important that you have Power of Attorneys in place. A Medical POA will allow someone to decide how your medical treatment goes; likewise, a Financial POA will give a certain sober someone the authority to handle your cash and assets. And remember, you must be of sound mind to sign a POA, so avoid the rush and plan your future today!
Your life is your own. If you want to be extra-special sure that it stays that way, plan ahead. Not only will this protect your interests, it will ease the burden for your loved ones – no one wants a knock-down drag out in the emergency room.
Bourke Accounting experts can’t protect your from falling anvils, but they can offer you financial guidance. Besides being extraordinarily knowledgeable, Bourke Accounting pros have the sensitivity and time to act as a sounding board. Bourke Accounting specialists won’t make up your mind for you, but they will make all of your decisions a lot clearer.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, my office neighbor is Bookkeeper Mary. She’s a good neighbor – she doesn’t blast Cardi B., she doesn’t talk to herself any more than I do and she’s always willing to answer a question. I have lucked out.
Sadly, my neighbors in real life aren’t quite as wonderful. A man has been living in a tent for over three months in one neighbor’s backyard. I don’t know why, but he loudly threatens to steal all of his ex’s macaroni and cheese bowls. For some reason, I find this to be a vaguely intimidating threat. On the other side, the neighbors like to burn stuff in the middle of the night. I don’t know what they’re burning, but thick, black smoke and a noxious odor continuously hangs in the morning dew.
Although I sometimes feel like I’m reenacting the Tom Hank’s film The ‘Burbs, I don’t call the police. I’m not afraid of my neighbors, but I do understand the concept of picking one’s battles. For example, on July 10, WDRB.com reported that Indiana man, Robert Campbell, went to his neighbor’s house, pushed the neighbor down and then attacked the man’s service dog (what kind of a low-rent beast of a “human” hurts a dog?). The problem between the men started when the neighbor accused Campbell of selling drugs out of his house. Campbell didn’t take kindly to this, as he had previously gone to jail for another offense (the sort of offense that meant he was supposed to have registered himself in a certain database, which he failed to do).
When you think of all of the terrible ways that things can go, do you see why I choose to keep a temperate attitude? Obviously, if I heard gunshots (knock wood, I haven’t so far), someone screaming or witnessed a person being injured, I would contact authorities. However, Robert Frost’s belief that good fences make good neighbors is working well enough for now. Before I get mad, I try to ask myself, “will this situation even matter a year from now?” If I can honestly answer, “no, by next year I won’t remember the participants or the circumstances,” I shrug and go about my day. However, if the answer is an unequivocal YES, then it’s time to use those amazing Gemini communication skills.
When approaching a neighbor about questionable behavior, it’s important not to attack. You should have a rough outline in mind of what you’d like to address, but don’t barrage your neighbor with a machinegun spray of accusations. Also, don’t get personal. No matter what the neighborhood gossip is, don’t bring it up (i.e. “your lawn is a mess and – ha, ha – your husband is cheating with the yoga instructor down the street”). If your neighbor gets crazy, take two steps back and gently tell the person that you’ll be back when they’re feeling better. Of course, this could backfire if you say something like, “sir, sir, you need to calm down.” I shouldn’t have to say that telling someone to calm down will have the absolute opposite effect.
If your good communication skills don’t work, then it might be time to call the police. However, keep in mind that this is REALLY going to get the other person angry. If you take that step, you might want to install some cameras and hope for the best. Also, keep in mind that you have to live right next to this person (depending on what the grievance is) and their rage may lead to bad events whereas you weren’t that invested in justice over your mild annoyance. Remember to ask yourself if this really matters.
We are good neighbors at Bourke Accounting – we even say “good morning” to workers from other companies. Our Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers are good neighbors to you, as well. When you sit down with your Bourke Accounting pro, not only will you receive the best financial services, but, if you ask, you’ll get all of the free condiments we can find in our break room. Being a good neighbor means giving out all of the soy sauce available.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, one of Bookkeeper Christina’s hobbies is playing bingo. She goes to a bingo hall, has bingo pals and even attends bingo pals’ birthdays parties. The entire thing is just so wholesome. She has invited me to go, but without cocktail servers, I think it might be a little too wholesome for me. I’ll probably change my mind, though. Right about now, I could use some innocent pastimes. I think we all could.
Please allow me to present three harmless hobbies:
1) Reborn Doll Collectors. A reborn doll is a freakishly realistic looking baby doll (pictured above). These things look so much like real kids that police officers have broken windows in order to save them from hot cars (Sheknows.com). They can run from about a hundred bucks to anywhere in the thousands; the most expensive was sold on eBay, a limited edition named Joelle, for $22,600 (Oddee.com). Those in this specialized subculture change their dolls’ diapers, talk to them, dress them and cuddle them. It could be argued that it’s bizarre for grown (mostly) women to play with dolls, but I still read comic books, so I’m not one to talk. Also, these people don’t actually believe the dolls are real (TheGuardian.com). Of course, there are those who pretend to be pregnant while they wait for their custom-made dolls to arrive, but that’s not the norm (Sheknows.com). Finally, they might be sort of creepy, but they’re so lifelike, they really are works of art. I wouldn’t want one in my house, but I can appreciate the workmanship.
2) Coupon Clipping. If the amount of Youtube.com videos are any indication, there are a lot of people who find coupon clipping very relaxing (seriously, these videos just show people clipping coupons. Sometimes while whispering about the savings). Also, there are a lot of websites dedicated to the frugal. For example, one, called CouponsintheNews.com, offers sneak peaks into the coupons that will be available soon. This site also speculates whether or not drone delivery services will accept coupons. Another site, TheKrazyCouponLady.com, invites readers to share “shopping successes” using pictures of items and the coupons. They also encourage readers to brag regarding how much they saved. I don’t want to be condescending, but this is just too cute!
3) Dungeons & Dragons. If you’ve never played this, it’s really fun. This is a game where all of the players create their own characters and then one person (“The Dungeon Master” – hey, mind out of the gutter) invents a storyline. Then, everyone sort of wanders around in this made up world. Your success on different missions depends on the roll of the funny looking dice. This game is reliant on a lot of imagination, which, obviously, is cool. You can play D&D in Billy’s mom’s rec room or, if you happen to be very adventurous, you can go out into the real world and act things out (also known as LARPing – Live Action Role Playing). I was never good at LARPing, though – keeping a straight face while pretending to be a 4,000-year-old vampire sorcerer elf was too much for me.
The world isn’t all bad. Sometimes, we can find pretty neat things to distract us from the distress of reality. I’m not saying that everyone should play D&D, while cooing to fake babies and clipping coupons, but find what gives you solace and do it.
Bourke Accounting pros have hobbies outside of work and Bourke Accounting experts just so happen to like numbers, too. Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers understand the importance of a good work/life balance. Let a Bourke Accounting specialist share their hobbies while keeping you in a stable financial place. And then we can all go LARPing in the parking lot!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I have never been honestly and truly yelled at while working at Bourke Accounting. Oh, sure, if I make a mistake, I’ll get a wisenheimer comment from one of the bosses, but full-tilt crazy person screaming tantrum? No, not yet. Likewise, I have never been physically assaulted while working at Bourke Accounting. No matter what kind of cruddy day Bookkeeper Christina is having, she has yet to throw anything heavy at my skull.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the rest of the world followed Bourke’s model?
Walking into my local bodega, the guy behind the counter looked unusually harassed. He had just broken up a fight between two patrons. Gentleman A had attempted to rip the mask from the face of Gentleman B; apparently, Gent A was screaming about communists while trying. Gent B took umbrage and punched Gent A in the face. How bizarre is it that a five-inch cloth rectangle can cause two grownups to regress back to the school yard?
Of course, as we witnessed over the Fourth of July weekend, the violence isn’t isolated to two idiots slapping each other over the beef jerky display. Weekends, especially holiday ones, are meant to include fireworks and cheeseburgers – instead, we got 160 murders (TheGuardian.com). By July 6, The New York Times reported that, in 36 cities, murder is up 21.8 percent compared to last year. Jerry Ratcliffe, a professor of criminal justice, weirdly theorized that some of the increase in violence can be attributed to drugs. It is his belief that corona has reduced “the market and opportunities for recreational drug use/dealing, which puts stress on the drug markets and increases violence” (NYTimes.com). I’m not sure, but is Ratcliffe suggesting that we all get high to keep the peace in our neighborhoods? I mean, I guess I’ll take one for the team, Mr. Ratcliffe, as you’re an educated man…
America is in the midst of one of the longest, baddest days of our lives; the trifecta of racial divide, disease and politics has fueled our angst to untenable levels. For example, I watched the St. Louis video of two suburbanites awkwardly brandishing weapons at protestors. These people, the Bonnie and Clyde of Old Navy’s Spring Collection, were actually pointing guns at strangers. I understand the instinct to protect one’s home, but is this the right way to do it?
But wait! The news isn’t all bad! Both Smith & Wesson and Sturm Ruger & Co. are seeing their stock prices increase. Smith & Wesson’s prices have doubled and Sturm Ruger “has advanced 62%” (Fortune.com). In addition, the FBI reports that firearm background checks have “soared over 3 million in March and May of 2020” (Wave3.com). I support sober and calm citizens exercising their 2nd Amendment rights, but I’m not sure that we are either of these things right now.
And just to make everything perfect, 2020 is slated “to rank in the top five hottest years on record” (Scientificamerican.com). The best thing to do is stay inside. If you can’t, the second-best thing to do is think. A mask isn’t worth hurting someone over, a president isn’t worth going to prison for and you can’t fight the good fight from the grave.
I’ve mentioned that the Bourke Accounting offices are climate controlled. I’ve also mentioned that Bourke Accounting pros are calm. When the world gets to you, come and bask in the Zenlike peace that is your Bourke Accounting tax preparer or bookkeeper. Before doing something stupid, let Bourke Accounting‘s civilized world of taxes bring you back to reality. Remember: the tax deadline is July 15th!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
So what we want to do is we want to get our schools open. We want to get them open quickly, beautifully, in the fall. And the — as you know, this is a disease that’s a horrible disease, but young people do extraordinarily well – That Guy, White House Briefing
At Bourke Accounting, we weren’t furloughed. That was pretty lucky. Another lucky thing is that most of the children of Bourke Accounting workers were able to stay by themselves when schools closed. The few younger kids were fortunate enough to have close relatives to watch over them. I realize that not everyone is having the same, relatively easy, coronavirus experience. Because of this, it makes sense that the question of reopening schools is becoming more important.
My little cousin was in the midst of her first year of high school when corona hit. Because she was enjoying it so much (weird little thing), she was devastated when her school closed. When she was unceremoniously informed that she is now a sophomore, she said that she had learned nothing in the last months. Without school and friends, she suffered depression and insomnia. She seems happier now that she can see her pals.
Obviously, I’m not celebrating the joy of depressed ankle biters – or the extension of their pain – but I wonder about the wisdom of opening schools in the near future. Experts have weighed in that these school closures will leave some kids “behind academically for years to come and [lead] to meaningful lost income over the course of their lifetimes” (Vox.com). I don’t believe that. Look at all of the English kids who were evacuated from schools and homes during WW2; they simply continued learning in “pubs, church halls or anywhere else there was…to accommodate them” (Historylearningsite.co.uk). Almost two million kids survived the horrors of bombings, rationing and gas masks (Historylearningsite.co.uk) and reached adulthood. Being stuck in the house does not really compare.
While there’s evidence that kids aren’t as susceptible to the virus, no one really knows how true that is. When asked how the kids would be affected, Sean O’Leary, infectious diseases specialist, said “We are going to find out” (Statnews.com). Is it just me or does that sound really ominous? During quarantine, the kids were safely isolated and, because they “don’t carry the years’ worth of antibodies that adults have amassed” (Statnews.com), we don’t know what will happen when they finally meet Covid on the playground. I’m not sure a “wait and see” attitude should be applied to children.
I understand that parents need to get back to work, which they can’t do without school or childcare. And I understand the argument that, without schools reopening, kids are “exposed to hunger, child abuse [and] homelessness” (Statnews.com). Obviously, we really need to address these problems if a third-grade teacher is the only one protecting a child from violence. While I truly comprehend the necessity of getting back to a normal way of life, I’m not sure that this can be done safely right now. Just look at the states that opened too quickly! Do we really want to try the same experiment, only with kids this time?
As terrible as these last months have been, I have faith that the kids are going to be okay. When they’re graduating from college, they will look back at 2020 and be proud that they were able to make it through to 2021.
Just like you, Bourke Accounting looks forward to returning to normalcy. If your life has undergone tremendous upheaval lately, your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer is prepared to help you set things right again. We won’t babysit your kids, but Bourke Accounting can at least make sure your finances are exactly where you want them to be.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
My dad calls me an “undiagnosed Socialist.” My Bourke Accounting co-workers think, I suspect, that I’m liberal to the point of sickening, Pollyanna naivete. However, I have a pragmatic side that tends to surprise those around me. For example, my co-workers and I were solving the world’s problems the other day. Regarding the replacement of funds spent on COVID-19 relief, I suggested that America should look into reworking the welfare system. From the silence, you would have thought I suggested repealing child labor laws and getting the kids back into the coal mines.
Let me explain: I met a person on assistance and she took advantage of the system. Badly. This woman was, along with her three kids, on every program known to exist. She bragged that each kid had their own gaming system (to avoid fights over sharing) and flat screen TVs. In addition, she gave each kid $250 to go to the State Fair and lived with her boyfriend (she giggled when recounting the clever ways in which she hid his presence during home visits). She sold her food stamps to a disreputable bodega for ¢60 on the dollar and drove a brand-new Porsche SUV. She was very proud of herself.
Since I had preconceived ideas, I felt it was a good idea to look into assistance programs. In 2016, for instance, a total of “$77.8 billion in payments were found [to be] fraudulent” (LexingtonLaw.com). See! That’s what I was talking about! Also, every year, the total cost of assistance programs adds up to $1 trillion (LexingtonLaw.com). So, these people just rake in vast amounts of cash, forever and ever? I researched the amount Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, the cash distribution part of welfare, gives recipients. The average payment is around $486 a month (CBPP.org). I may have spoken too soon regarding “vast amounts.” All right, but even if it is less than $500, welfare is forever, right? If “forever” can be defined as “no more than five years over a lifetime” (Scholars.org), then sure, forever.
I got it! Assistance recipients must be making all sorts of crazy money from selling their food stamps! Let’s find out: in 2018, the average family received around $256 per month and a single person received $127 (CBPP.org). The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities points out that people were, therefore, allowed $1.40 per meal. I’m starting to think that the woman I knew was doing something on the side, because she sure as anything wasn’t driving a Porsche on welfare benefits.
While it’s clear that welfare doesn’t provide much beyond the bare bones, I believe that reform is still in order. We’ve heard stories of multiple generations of the same families on welfare and it must stop. The learned helplessness of assistance creates people who, feeling like they have no control, “tend to simply give up and accept their fate” (Verywellmind.com). Obviously, education and job training are the only options out of poverty. While education is expensive, it is my belief that America has hidden money to help with this endeavor. For example, the US has 20 B-2 Spirit bombers, costing $2 billion each (CNN.com). Maybe England would like to buy one? At the very least, the US should stop spending billions on war machines (we have enough) and start investing in the people.
Another reform concept is to drug test everyone receiving assistance. I’ve read articles and no one can unequivocally say whether it’s a good or bad idea. I think it’s a good idea. I don’t mind my tax dollars feeding and housing the needy, but it’s not fair to be expected to finance someone’s good time, too (I’m petty, I already know).
Ronald Reagan’s popularization of the term and concept of the “Welfare Queen” did a lot of damage. While it’s true that some take advantage of a system designed to help, I have to believe that most welfare receivers want to succeed to the point where they never have to think of assistance again.
Bourke Accounting pros understand that things are tough. Bourke Accounting pros also understand that, sometimes, all we need is a helping hand once to get over the rough patches. Your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer is here to support you all through these confusing and stressful times.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I am a feminist: women and men are equal. That’s it, end of my concept and moving on. Tim was first made aware of this at a Bourke Accounting staff meeting when he referred to his most exalted and loyal (mainly female) workers as “you girls.” Before we gather the pitchforks, poor Tim had never been apprised that grown women don’t generally care for a term specifically intended for girl children under the age of 15. However, the beauty of open dialogue is the ability to, rationally, introduce a different point of view. Without communication, we are nothing but rocks slamming against each other, creating sparks and causing fires.
Just because we’re all equal doesn’t mean that I ignore the weird trends women have engaged in over the years. So, in no particular order, here is my nod to The Weirdness of Women:
1) High Heels. Back in the 10th century, Persian soldiers wore these things while horseback riding (QZ.com), which, if you’ve ever ridden, makes a lot of sense – a solid heel keeps your feet from sliding out of the stirrups. By the 17th century, heels were a fashion utilized by men, soldiers or not, “so the first women to try them out were actually going for a masculine look” (QZ.com). Eventually, women came to recognize that heels “exaggerate sex specific aspects of female gait” (Huffpost.com) and (frighteningly) soften the blow of a woman in a position of power by drawing attention to femininity (Huffpost.com). Um. Ick. While heels lend height and “sexy” calves, they also cause extreme damage to most of the body. Obviously, the human foot wasn’t meant to be walked on at such an extreme angle. A lifetime in high heels may lead to hip, back, ankle, tendon, foot and toe problems, as well as arthritis (Insider.com). Also, can you run from a bear in 6-inch Manolo Blahniks? No. You cannot.
2) 1950’s Gelatin Mold Cuisine. We’ve all seen old sitcoms where the little lady desperately tries to protect her wobbly Jell-O centerpiece meal from rampaging kids before the big party. One popular dish, called “Liver Sausage Pineapple,” was made of gelatin, liver sausage, mayo and Worcestershire sauce. After mixing the ingredients, the whole thing was shaped like a pineapple (there is no actual pineapple in this thing) and decorated with olives (Getinmahbellah.com). Why did women enjoy suspending random animal parts in gelatinous masses? The main reasons were status (fridges were expensive and gelatin needed to set), efficiency and quick clean-up (TheDailyMeal.com). However, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
3) Baby Showers. I understand the point of baby showers: receive gifts for the baby, honor the mother, celebrate the impending damp and squealing bundle of responsibility. I’ve only been to two baby showers, but I must ask: WHERE ARE THE DRINKS? I was offered virgin Pina Coladas, virgin Daiquiris and, by one wit, a virgin Jack and Coke. Also, I was forced to guess the size of the mother’s belly and bob for pacifiers (okay, I didn’t do the bobbing, it seemed a little unhygienic). How about a bunch of women go to the bar and send gifts to the mother later? Or send gifts before the baby is born and have a raging party after? I’m all for solidarity, but talking about childbirth while sober is simply terrifying.
Women are strong, smart human beings. However, sometimes even the best of us do bizarre things. Don’t worry, though, I’m collecting data for Mystifying Men (coming soon).
Bourke Accounting knows that, no matter what, everyone is weird; your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer would be disappointed if you weren’t off center. Besides respecting the odd, Bourke Accounting respects people as people. Maybe an accounting firm can’t change the world, but who knows? All it takes is enough of us accepting each other’s differences to make the world a gentler place.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.