So, I pitched my Beach Blanket Bingo – Antarctica Edition! teambuilding vacation idea to Bill. He looked at me with an expression that said: did I really hire you? Then, he shook his head slowly, left, right and then left again. He walked away to do something else. Something that didn’t necessitate Annette Funicello, beaches or Antarctica, I’m guessing.
But his completely comprehensible and nonverbal communication got me thinking. Probably like you, I have vague memories of being potty trained. As a kid, when my parents took my brother and I to a new place, I visited the bathroom. Was I avoiding an accident or did I just like checking out new bathrooms? I couldn’t tell you, but I remember doing it. However, while I can sort of remember potty training, I have no recollection of learning that a shake of the head meant “no”. I don’t know how I learned that a nod meant, “yes” or “go on, you’re doing it right.” Do you?
Thanks to pop psychology, we know that if someone is standing with arms crossed, that’s an indication of defensiveness or some sort of discomfort. But how do little kids understand body language before they can even understand Dr. Phil? Universalclass.com suggests that “from the time they are babies, children imitate what you do.” You smile, they smile. Essentially, babies are damp little mirrors. When does the actual understanding come in?
In the 1950s, there was an anthropologist named Ray Birdwhistell. Birdwhistell had a theory that “no more than 30 to 35 percent of the social meaning of a conversation…is carried by the words” (Wikipedia.org). His concept was that most of what we get out of an interaction is gleaned from the way the other person moves. Birdwhistell called his concept “Kinesics” and it is made up of “facial expression, gestures, posture…and visible arm and body movements” (Edge.sagepub.com). Birdwhistell further believed that these movements are as “systemic and socially learned as verbal language” (Edge.sagepub.com). Furthermore, because these “nonverbal signs…are learned” (Edge.sagepub.com) from a very young age, we didn’t even notice that we were learning them.
I have a friend who tells me not to lie to children because children always know. Oh, right, little onesie wearing polygraph machines? Sadly, this is true (and creepy). According to Raisingchildren.net.au, “when your nonverbal communication sends a different message from your words, your child is more likely to believe the nonverbal communication.” This does makes sense, as kids are still part of that visceral, natural world. I have to say, it makes me wholly uncomfortable: you can’t figure out where your head goes when putting on a shirt, but you know I’m lying when I say I believe in Santa? Get outta here…
Final proof that Birdwhistell was on to something regarding body language: text messages. How many times have you had to send an apology text because someone didn’t understand that you were joking? This is a daily occurrence for me. The man knew what he was talking about.
Bourke Accounting professionals are fluent in both verbal and nonverbal language. However, even if our Bourke Accounting experts know you’re uncomfortable about something, they won’t call you out. Bourke Accounting tax preparers and bookkeepers will listen until you’re ready to share. After a few gentle head nods, you’ll know that you’re getting the best (and most welcoming) financial service in the business.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Animals are interesting.
Vultures generally wait until their…uh…meal is dead before picking through the bones.
Hyenas generally wait until they spot an injured or sick animal and, well, they don’t wait to pick through the bones.
Humans are animals, too.
The last time you took a sick day, you probably binged on daytime television. Doing so, you also probably saw commercials for tax debt relief companies that screamed about the amazing things they could do for you. “Do you owe $17 million in back taxes?! We will negotiate with the IRS for less than pennies on the dollar!!! Even if your debt is bigger than Mount Everest, we guarantee results!” These commercials usually run after Dr. Phil says “goodbye” and right before the shady lawyer promises millions of dollars for a slip and fall accident (typically with bad CGI and a vague sort of hip-hop soundtrack).
If you are suffering from a large Federal tax debt, you are probably frightened. And, let’s face it, you are now the lame antelope in the herd. Being the lame antelope, you should know that the human equivalent of a hyena is quietly circling. If you are in this unfortunate position, there are a few things that you should know.
First, don’t trust any commercial/company that “guarantees” to be able to settle your tax debt. Your tax debt is as unique as you are. A blanket assurance is totally unrealistic. Even IRS.gov, when discussing their Offer in Compromise program, mentions that there are many, many different sets of criteria that you would have to fit in order to pay less money than you owe. “The ability to pay, income, expenses and asset equity” are just a few factors that will be studied before the IRS will consider approving your offer.
Also, don’t hand over tons of money before any work is actually completed. Paying a retainer is normal but avoid any firm that asks for payment, in full, during your first meeting. Paying for work not yet done is like paying for a car with the promise of, one day, eventually, maybe, being able to drive that car.
Finally, pay attention to what sort of documents the person in front of you is requesting. Is s/he only asking for last year’s W2? If so, this could be a stalling tactic. A month after your first meeting, your “professional” might send you a letter saying that there wasn’t quite enough information provided and that’s what’s holding up your offer.
Make sure that you do your homework: look at reviews, consult the Better Business Bureau, even the amount of time that the firm has been in business is a good litmus test for stability.
Bourke Accounting experts are not hyenas. However, a Bourke Accounting specialist will fight like a mama bear to help you come to livable terms with the IRS. And much like a mama bear, your Bourke Accounting representative fears nothing. If you’re going through a hard time with large tax debt, don’t make it worse. Come talk to the best, most tenacious crew in the business.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
There are many “Words of wisdom” out there: Don’t run with scissors. Don’t take a bath with a toaster. Don’t eat green chicken. These all make a lot of sense. In these new and interesting times, I think one really important concept is overlooked: Don’t Tattle on Yourself. This is pretty similar to don’t air your dirty laundry in public. Or even, to a lesser extent, ol Ben Franklin’s: Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Considering the advent of social media, I think we all need a second to reflect on what we shouldn’t offer up to the world.
When social media first came out, it was fairly harmless. People were posting about sitting in Starbucks, how they bought new shoes and, oh, look, here’s a picture of a baby! Now, it seems that folks are being way too open about other, perhaps naughty, activities that they might be engaged in. For example, Dr. Phil had an episode a while ago that featured a woman who lost a job at ESPN before she even started because of what was discovered on her Facebook page. Let’s just say that what she posted did not exactly align with ESPN’s concepts.
Paradoxically, I almost didn’t get a job a few years back because I had (and still have) no presence on social media. Seriously, my prospective employer thought that I must have been hiding something, as I didn’t have a Facebook page. I explained, no, I’m not hiding anything, I simply don’t believe last night’s dinner needs validation from strangers. I was met with a wary and suspicious stare.
So, in such interesting times as these, I am offering three tips regarding social media:
1) DON’T post anything that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to read. This includes how you had [redacted] with a stranger Friday, how you smoked [redacted] Saturday night, how you would like to [redacted] your neighbor with a crowbar. Family functions are difficult enough. Don’t make it worse.
2) DON’T post any pictures of yourself doing anything illegal, don’t talk about doing anything illegal on social media. In 2017, abc7chicago.com reported that “50 [were] arrested after Chicago police infiltrate[ed] Facebook groups selling guns, drugs.” One of those detained happened to be a school teacher. This is not the only instance of arrests made because of social media. I found around 20 articles with titles like “7 People Sent to Prison because of Social Media.” So. Don’t do that.
3) DO have social media. I know, right? We can’t win here. If you have social media, you will be judged. If you don’t have social media, you will be judged. Have a public page with lots of friends from your knitting circle and pictures of bunnies. Have a private page (if you really must) about your thoughts regarding the Zombie Apocalypse.
So what happens if you posted something ill-advised on social media and now have the IRS rap, rap, rapping on your door? Well, a good accountant would be a handy asset. I’m not promising that the experts at Bourke Accounting can save you from yourself, but they can offer you valuable insight and advice. The associates at Bourke Accounting are here to help, even if it appears to be a Sisyphean endeavor. Bourke Accounting won’t give up on you.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.