I didn’t sell out, Son, I bought in. Keep that in mind – Dad, SLC Punk!
Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and accountants like numbers. Bourke Accounting professionals also like money. It is because of these harmonious interests that our experts enjoy coming to work in the morning. In addition, these mathematically minded individuals are never asked to do anything unethical or demeaning; in short, Bourke Accounting folks are able to support themselves without the humiliation of “selling out.”
Since 2020 has been a rotten year anyway, it wasn’t surprising that LG Electronics made it a little worse. Last month, LG introduced an ad campaign which features an altered version of singer Old Dirty Bastard’s song, “Baby, I Got Your Money” for their WashTower washer/dryer. Dementedly happy washing machine users are shown bopping along with a vocalist who continuously insists “I got your laundry.” As ODB’s original song was not a “G” rated work, the use of this changed song is both laughable and disheartening; in addition, and as a special achievement, ad execs were also able to successfully declaw a bad boy rapper in his grave.
Since ODB is deceased, he can’t be blamed for this tacky travesty. Instead, we can only rail against insensitive advertising agencies and the money-hungry individuals who control the music rights. Unfortunately, this is cold and unsatisfying comfort. Well, at least we don’t have to worry about our living legends peddling their passions like pro lovers on 5th Street…right?
Not right, as a matter of fact. On Monday, Bob Dylan donned the telltale fishnet stockings and sold himself to the Universal Music Publishing Group. For an estimated $400 million, Dylan laid back, thought of God and country, and sold his “entire songwriting catalog – over 600 songs spanning six decades” (Vice.com). Dylan – the only songwriter to win a Nobel Prize for Literature (NobelPrize.org), the bringer of unrest and change, the snappy dresser, the pal of luminaries, the gravelly voiced sage – sold out.
Should we blame him? While Dylan is worth an estimated $350 million, he also has six kids and two ex-wives (Wikipedia.org). Also, the virus has wreaked havoc on income and portfolios all over the world; perhaps Dylan just wants to ensure that his family is well provided for. If that’s the case, he’s not alone: even ultimate hippie David Crosby has announced that he’ll be selling his catalogue as a measure to take care of his family and mortgage after being affected by Corona (APNews.com). Maybe it’s not selling out, maybe it’s just pragmatic future planning.
Except it’s not. No, Dylan’s new adventure in betraying his values is simply a base money grab. Dylan changed lives with his protest songs, now he’s sold his ideals to a heartless corporation; worse, Dylan just sold our shared history. While Universal now has the ability to decide where Dylan’s songs appear, experts speculate that Universal will avoid making choices that will cause Dylan to publicly object (APNews.com). Somehow, that doesn’t make it better.
It can be argued that Dylan’s newly commercialized music will introduce new generations to his genius – but it’s highly unlikely that, when “Just Like a Woman” is played during a showcase of feminine hygiene products, the kids will flock to find Bob Dylan. Some things should be sacred, but Bob doesn’t care about the implications of slinging the sublime from the back of a van. Poor form, Bob. Truly poor form.
As stated, Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers aren’t prepared to sell out. Bourke Accounting pros don’t cut corners and they don’t break the rules for cash. Bourke experts are emotionally invested when practicing their arts and they will consistently work their hardest for your benefit. Anything else would be dishonorable.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
The television in Bourke Accounting’s waiting room is usually tuned to bucolic forest stream scenes or gently swaying flowers amid rolling fields. However, last week was a little different. Last week, Bourke Accounting’s TV took a break from the peaceful and entered the anxiety-inducing world of election coverage – and whether you voted for That Guy in The White House or The New Guy, we all know that serenity won’t descend on our country anytime soon.
2020 has behaved like a spoiled, ill-mannered high schooler, mean-drunk on a bottle of Boone’s Farm. With each new outrage, we assure ourselves that, while this is bad, at least it can’t get worse…and then we are quickly proven wrong. Although most of us can’t wait to see 2020 in the dust, it seems that this blighted year is ensuring that we all receive our parting gifts.
After every election, there is always a small, but vocal, side that cries “foul.” Whether it’s “hanging chads” or “Russian interference,” we’ve seen groups reluctant to simply admit defeat and move on. Even before this year’s election officially took place, there was fear. Voters on both sides worried that there would be violence at polling facilities and widespread fraud. Thankfully, we showed our better natures and there were only “very isolated and sporadic reports of…intimidation at polling places” (USAToday.com). As far as fraud goes, yes, there were reports of postal carriers dumping ballots. Also, some brainiacs have been charged for trying to vote for their deceased relatives. In normal years, prolonged voter fraud discussions become an irritant and, eventually and finally, background noise. However, in a year like this, continued election litigation and protests could prove dangerous.
In instances where the outcome is very close or the losing side requests it, a vote recount is justified (NCSL.org) and hardly unprecedented. What makes this year different is that That Guy accused Democrats of stealing the vote before the election even happened. Barbara Perry of the University of Virginia points out that we have never seen a losing leader encourage his followers to say that an entire election is fraudulent (MercuryNews.com). In addition, there has never been concern that an ousted president will refuse to leave office.
Obviously, voter fraud allegations must be investigated. America must protect our institutions and uphold the dignity and validity of the election process. However, these procedures should not be dragged out for years and years. When the courts have decided that all is on the level, it can only be hoped that losing is done gracefully. When That Guy concedes, we can only hope that he tells his followers “to stand down.”
The election is important, but we must realize that we have bigger concerns right now. Last Thursday, America saw Coronavirus cases reach to over 121,000 in one day (NPR.org) with no signs of slowing down. Our economy is on shaky ground, to say the least, and we’ll be paying for Corona aid for decades to come. We don’t need armed militias in the streets, chanting debunked conspiracy theories. We don’t need a divided country, only good for shouting accusations at each other. We need to come together as one people. We have a very hard road ahead of us and we will need each other. It’s time to get to work.
Bourke Accounting understands the changes you have experienced this year. Mentally and physically, Bourke Accounting experts realize the stress that you’ve been under. When you get tired of the televised rhetoric, sit down with a Bourke Accounting tax preparer or bookkeeper and make sure your financial needs will never be cause for concern. And don’t worry, we’ve turned off the news and calming beach scenes have returned to our waiting room.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Even during these chaotic times, The Bourke Accounting Book Club is still reading. Recently, the selection was Sara, Book 1, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Basically, the premise is that if you put positive vibes out into the world, good things will happen to you. Instead of telling yourself what you don’t want in life, focus on the things you do want and, eventually, “The Law of Attraction” will bring these special gifts to your doorstep in a nicely wrapped package. Finally, we are meant to appreciate things, rather than waste time gloomily mired in the unpleasant.
As far as self-help books go, this one wasn’t too out of control and some of the advice made sense. However, with the 120-year prison sentence of Keith Raniere, founder of NXIVM, we’ve seen how self-help can become very dangerous. Like other ideas that start innocently, Raniere’s teachings didn’t originally focus on sex trafficking and forced labor. One of Raniere’s beliefs revolved around the concept that a person’s “past experiences affect their current decision-making” (Insider.com) and, by following his plan, people could let go of the past and live freely and happily. So, how did a bit of pseudo psychology devolve into women being branded and held against their will?
It could be argued that Raniere was always a narcissistic sociopath who simply had to wait for enough followers to manifest these personality traits on a large scale. While this is most likely the case, his condition was exacerbated by The Cult of Self-Help. Self-improvement is commendable. When we use positive thinking techniques to quit smoking or to motivate us to exercise, we are helping ourselves. However, when we begin to lose ourselves to the whims of others or begin to believe things that don’t make rational sense, that’s where the problem lies.
For example, Esther Hicks of Sara fame doesn’t write her books. No, her books are actually written by “Abraham.” Abraham is a “group consciousness from the non-physical dimension” (Wikipedia.org) who Ms. Hicks is able to channel. For $250, you, too, can attend a workshop and listen to the weird voice coming out of the unassuming, heavily hair sprayed matron. A former member of this group warns that, if your loved ones don’t believe in “Abraham,” you are to stop talking to them because “your past doesn’t matter” (AbrahamHicksFraud.com). In addition, this same member alleges that the group “took over $11K [from her mother] in less than a month for spiritual healing sessions” (AbrahamHicksFraud.com). Well. That’s one way to keep those positive vibes flowing.
At this point, we know that self-help is a lucrative business. Between books, videos and workshops, the self-help industry rakes in about $9.9 billion per year (FreedomofMind.com). When we are graced with a late-night infomercial featuring that old schooler Tony Robbins, it’s easy to see that he’s a happy man. It’s also easy to see why: tickets to his one-day workshops start at $1,095 (Blog.100am.com). While everyone has to make a buck, charging the confused and sick that amount of money is distressing, to say the least.
Whether it’s a 12-step program or an I’m OK-You’re OK scenario, it’s important to keep everything in perspective. To turn a self-help journey into your whole life is dangerous and expensive. Your personality should not exist solely as a reflection of a “guru’s” mindset, no matter how innocuous it appears. Letting self-help get you through a traumatic experience is lovely, but anyone who encourages disowning your family or spending all of your money is not to be trusted.
Although Bourke Accounting’s bookkeepers and tax preparers can certainly help you, they’re not into the brainwashing game. In addition, Bourke Accounting pros will be more than happy to meet your loved ones. Finally, Bourke Accounting experts don’t want all of your money. Financial matters are important, but they shouldn’t take up your life – see a Bourke Accounting rep and let someone else help with the numbers.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
It’s Halloween! To celebrate, Bourke employees are engaging in a “Decorate Your Right Arm” competition (hopefully, this won’t become a tradition, as it was a lot harder than it sounds). While a lot of us really like Halloween, there is an aspect of danger to the holiday that isn’t evident in any of the other festive days we celebrate.
Halloween is, by its nature, spooky; it’s a holiday defined by ghosts walking the earth, scary costumes and creepy stories. Even the urban legends, especially those concerning poisoned trick or treaters, are blatantly grotesque. But isn’t it unsettling when urban legends come to life?
Rumors surrounding poisoned candy is believed to have started around the time of the Industrial Revolution, when “when food production moved out of the home” (Wikipedia.org). All of a sudden, food wasn’t made by Grandma, but by some stranger who might want to cause harm for unknown reasons. In the 1930s, with the advent of trick or treating, poisoned candy gradually morphed into poisoned Halloween candy. Although there has never been a child murdered by poisoned Halloween candy (HowStuffWorks.com), this is an urban legend that still has parents checking fun size Snickers bars every year. Wait, did we say no child has ever killed by poisoned Halloween candy? That’s not exactly true, actually. However, the murderer wasn’t a faceless monster, but someone very well known to the 8-year-old victim.
On Halloween, 1974, Ronald O’Bryan took his two children, Timothy and Elizabeth, trick or treating with a neighbor and his son. When no one answered at a particular house, the children and the neighbor moved on. O’Bryan hung back, but quickly reappeared with five large Pixy Stix. “You must have some rich neighbors,” O’Bryan quipped to his companion, handing the candy to the children (Statesman.com). Once the group returned home, O’Bryan allowed his kids one piece of candy each. Timothy wanted the Pixy Stix, but couldn’t open it, so O’Bryan kindly helped his son. Timothy complained that the candy tasted bitter, drank some Kool-Aid and toddled off to bed.
Within the hour, Timothy was vomiting and in extreme pain. Although the ambulance arrived within minutes, Timothy was pronounced dead at the hospital. An autopsy showed that Timothy had died from potassium cyanide poisoning and a mad search for the remaining Pixy Stix ensued. None of the other children had eaten the candy (one boy had his in bed, having fallen asleep before he could open it). Over the following days, O’Bryan tried to remember where he had gotten the candy, finally accusing a man with an air-tight alibi.
Authorities became a little suspicious. When it was discovered that O’Bryan was heavily in debt and had bought life insurance on his children days before Halloween, they became a lot suspicious. After an investigation turned up cut Pixy Stix tops and a knife covered in cyanide at O’Bryan’s house, he was arrested for murder. In addition, O’Bryan’s in-laws testified how, at Timothy’s funeral, O’Bryan had giddily listed all of the things he was planning to buy with the insurance money. The jury took 46 minutes to decide on a guilty verdict and Ronald O’Bryan was put to death on March 31,1984 (Medium.com).
O’Bryan, AKA The Candy Man, thought that his murder would be chalked up to an insane and unknown Halloween poisoner. Instead, he added credence to the urban legend and even more danger to an already creepy holiday. Remember, Parents, it’s never out of fashion to check that candy!
Bourke Accounting has clean, safe Halloween candy. During this scary time of year, why don’t you come talk to a Bourke Accounting pro about your financial future? With all of the weirdness going on, your money issues shouldn’t be a mystery or reason for sleepless nights.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
After watching a vampire movie, do you spend the next hour smiling mysteriously and secretly believing that you would look great in a cape? What about when you view a good old-fashioned bullet, punch-‘em-out, tough guy action flick like The Doorman? Do you walk down the street with a new swagger, just wishing that some bad apple would try some of that bad apple stuff on you?
When you find yourself mildly affected after seeing some little bit of fantasy, you are not alone – many of us find ourselves in the same exact place. For example, The Crow was released over 25 years ago and, every year around Halloween, armies of Eric Dravens can still be seen descending upon bars and parties. If you’ve ever been around someone dressed like this, you’ll have noticed that personalities seem to change slightly with the addition of the Alice Cooper make up: usually gregarious folks become more subdued and voices deepen to octaves much lower than normal. It’s both funny and harmless fun.
But is it possible for someone to become influenced by violent media to the point of criminality? Take, for instance, the 2006 murder of Cassie Jo Stoddart. Cassie Jo was a high school girl stabbed to death by two of her friends, Torey Adamcik and Brian Draper. After watching the teen slasher film, Scream, multiple times, the boys decided that they wanted to engage in homicide, too.. When the boys learned that Cassie Jo would be housesitting alone, they cut the power and played a sick cat and mouse game with the 16-year-old girl before ultimately taking her life (Ranker.com). Both boys cited a desire to be famous, along with admitting that they were heavily influenced by the film.
Through the years, popular media has often been blamed for society’s ills. Perhaps the belief that violent images cause violent behavior can be attributed to psychiatrist Fredric Wertham. In 1948, Wertham began a crusade against comic books. It was his argument that blatant homosexuality and savagery in comics such as Wonder Woman and Batman caused young people to become sexually aggressive criminals. While the people trusted Wertham as a leading authority, it turned out that he had fabricated some of his findings and, at times, outright lied regarding his research (Vox.com).
While it makes sense that continuously wallowing in brutal programming could lead to antisocial acts (thanks, Doc Wertham), legitimate research doesn’t support this. When studying increased violence in PG-13 movies, researchers found that, between 1985 and 2015, “overall rates of murder and violence actually fell” (Consumer.healthday.com). In addition, researchers at the Friedman Brain Institute, using PET brain scanners, discovered that violent images “enhance aggression only in those already prone to it” (NBCnews.com). If you’re a reasonably balanced citizen, watching House of 1000 Corpses will make you question nothing more than how such an awful movie received funding.
Constantly immersing oneself in violent content might cause depression, but it doesn’t cause killers. With that being said, however, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to watch The Princess Bride this week.
Hanging around with Bourke Accounting tax preparers and bookkeepers won’t lead you into a life of crime. However, your Bourke Accounting pro will most certainly influence your financial future for the better. Call now for an appointment with a knowledgeable Bourke Accounting expert and see how much better off you are with Bourke in your corner.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I don’t know how to say it differently. I don’t know how to scream it any louder. If I were to say, very nicely, over and over, “Please, 2020, the bar has turned the lights on, it’s time to leave,” do you think 2020 would settle up and go away? Just when I thought this year couldn’t possibly get any weirder or depressing, Kanye West announced that he’s going to run for President of the United States. Is this just a publicity stunt? I don’t know. Is he really serious? For the love of all things holy, I truly hope not.
If you don’t know, Kanye West is a rapper with a clothing company. Generally, his music leans towards forgettable, declawed mall pop. However, one notable song, “Gold Digger,” featuring Jamie Foxx, includes absolutely butchered samples of Ray Charles’, “I Got a Woman“, so there’s that. Sadly, Mr. West’s clothing line matches his music. For $258 (originally $349), you can own a Yeezy sweatshirt (pictured above) that resembles a burlap sack without the charm or utility (Yoox.com).
Besides his “music” and sack store, West is also known for saying some interesting things. In 2008, West claimed that he would “go down as the voice of this generation” (NME.com). As a member of the same generation as West, I vehemently deny that the gentleman speaks for me. West has also expressed his belief that 400 years of slavery was actually a choice made by the enslaved (CNN.com). After the backlash, he tried to clarify his comment by saying he didn’t actually mean people became slaves of their own freewill, but because the number of enslaved people was greater than that of their oppressors, “we were mentally enslaved” (CNN.com). Clarified to perfection.
During an interview with Forbes this week, West explained his concept of running for president. He has decided that he will be running as a member of the “Birthday Party,” because, naturally, “when we win, it’s everybody’s birthday” (Forbes.com). West also is very concerned about a potential Covid-19 vaccine, as vaccines are “the mark of the beast…they want to put chips inside of us” (Forbes.com). Perhaps not surprising, West has some stunning views on women. ‘Nuff said.
In 2016, West was hospitalized for a “psychiatric emergency” (NYTimes.com) and opioid addiction (he became addicted as a result of liposuction) (USAToday.com). I would never disparage anyone for seeking help, but perhaps a leadership role is not in West’s best interest. Although, he’s free to try – there’s nothing in the Constitution that bars a would-be president based on “mental fitness” (Psychcentral.com).
At this point, West has missed deadlines “to be included on a number of state ballots as an independent candidate” (Fortune.com), but that doesn’t mean he won’t still make the attempt. Some could argue that West’s, famous for being famous, wife, Kim Kardashian’s adult film would pose as a detriment. But he needn’t worry: as a current president engages in public adultery and equates his genitalia to the “nuclear button” (NYTimes.com), a lack of dignity is clearly not a dealbreaker.
Democrat, Republican or Independent, our country needs a moderate, calm-thinker. We need a leader who is willing to compromise with all party lines and all people. This is not the time for over-the-top, inflammatory rhetoric. No matter who wins the presidency, we will be living in interesting times.
By this time next year, we might be paying our taxes in unbent paperclips – who knows? At least you can count on your Bourke Accounting experts to understand every new change that will affect your finances. In a chaotic world, the quiet, steady professionalism of Bourke Accounting’s bookkeepers and tax prepares never varies. Bourke Accounting’s customer service and knowledge are two things that will last.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
We look around our burning and confused world and ask 2020, “What’d we ever do to you?” There’s a golfer hiding in the White House basement, busily retweeting racist things (and claiming ignorant innocence later). Everyone’s killing each other. News sources are warning of a second wave when the first hasn’t even broken yet. In early May, one third of Americans reported feeling anxiety and depression (USNews.com). We are undeniably sad and lost.
Because of these terrible facts, I want to get a little weird and a little unnecessary now. If you feel like forgetting things for a minute, come along and get weirdly unnecessary with me:
1) Don’t throw money down the toilet. As you know, a lot of us are financially damaged, however, every time you sit down, you’re sitting on a goldmine! According to the CDC, nearly half a million people suffer from Clostridioides difficile infections, a bacterium that causes severe gastrointestinal distress, each year. OpenBiome is a nonprofit organization that is combatting this ailment with their cutting-edge research, fecal transplants and a little help from you (OpenBiome.org). With OpenBiome and your poop donations, you can earn up to $13,000 a year and serve the public! Not only that, but OpenBiome offers prizes to “donors who make the most donations [and] provide the biggest sample” (IFLScience.com)!
2) Let’s learn from the bonobos! Bonobo chimpanzees are cute furry guys who share more than “98 percent of our genetic profile” (ScientificAmerican.com). And bonobos do like to share: they share food, parenting responsibilities and they really share their bodies. Unlike other chimps, bonobos aren’t aggressive. For example, if food is offered to a group of bonobos, they won’t fight over it; instead, everyone participates in a lovefest and then eats dinner (ScientificAmerican.com). Every conflict that these chimps face is met with lovemaking and grooming rather than blood and teeth. Also, their orientation is fluid to the point of nonexistence – if a female is angry with another female, let’s just say the ill-will doesn’t lead to a brawl, as they’re otherwise occupied. And they’re friendly – if a strange bonobo wanders into an established group, there is no vying for dominance. I think you know how the group gets to know the stranger (ScientificAmerican.com) – bonobos are true swingers (couldn’t resist). Two last things: bonobos won’t practice their conflict resolution skills with any member too closely related to them and they like passionately kissing (ScientificAmerican.com)! So, the next time you want to fight, think: What would a bonobo do?
3) That is your shirt! Have you ever seen someone wearing a shirt that looks exactly like your lost 1972 Stones concert tee? If you lost luggage at the airport, it very well might be your shirt. Airlines keep unclaimed luggage for five days; after that, they either donate the bags or sell them to a company like The Unclaimed Baggage Center (Science.HowStuffWorks.com). Want a calf hair belt or diabetic socks? The Unclaimed Baggage Center has both in stock right now!
Knowing about bonobos won’t change our lives, but it’s good that there are still mildly weird and harmless things out there. And I could be wrong, maybe learning about unclaimed baggage will inspire our next peacemaker to bring about an era of harmony and respect.
Although our Bourke Accounting pros are strong, they need a break from harsh reality once in a while, too. So, when you’re sitting across from your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer, don’t hesitate to share a little-known nugget of information. While Bourke Accounting experts know a lot, they’re always interested in learning more.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I was filling in for Phil the other day here at Bourke Accounting. Bill asked me to turn on the high-def TV and put something unoffensive on – Phil usually chooses some sort of pastoral scene with gently swaying flowers. Technology scares me and I was looking at two remote controls (my TV at home is from 1981). After button smushing I, happily accidentally, arrived at something like “10 Hours – Aquarium for Relaxation.” All of a sudden, contented and colorful fish were swimming across the screen! Bill came back, glanced at the TV, and mused, “That’s nice. What else can we do to keep from going crazy?”
With the current state of our world, stress has become a familiar thorn in our collective side. However, if we’re being honest, even before the current state, anxiety was no stranger to us. For example, stress “causes around one million workers to miss work every day” (Stress.org). Not only that, but work-related stress causes “120,000 deaths and results in $190 billion in healthcare costs yearly” (Stress.org). With grim numbers like that, Bill is right to question what can be done.
One option is The Calm Booth by ROOM. This thing looks like a coffin standing up (and it might be straight out of the psych ward), but it’s much more than that! It’s soundproof, it has a frosted door for privacy, soft lighting, “a beautiful and soothing misty forest interior” (Blog.calm.com) AND 12 subscriptions to the Calm app – all for the low, low price of $4,195 (Room.com)! When workers are stressed, they can go sit in a phone booth coffin, listen to Nature Soundscapes and “return to work refreshed, relaxed, happier and more creative” (Blog.calm.com). I guess.
For employers who are not insane, let’s move on. This next one is an idea that Bourke Accounting implements and it works: personalizing your space. Bill allows us to paint our walls any color we choose. In addition, we’re welcome to pick wall hangings and knickknacks – I have a seriously cool Edie Sedgwick print and an Alice and Wonderland clock. This is important because, as we spend at least eight hours a day in these spaces, they ought to reflect our personalities. In addition, surrounding yourself with pretty and familiar objects creates a comfortable little cradle where you can escape without leaving the building. And painting lasts longer than the Calm app.
Another calming idea is living things. I inherited a hanging tree plant-thing named Marc. When I can’t think of a word, I ask Marc’s opinion (many of us talk to ourselves at Bourke, so no one is sending me to The Calm Booth quite yet) and, more often than not, I get my word. Also, plants brighten up a room, “bring in moisture and help clean indoor air” (Henryford.com). Finally, “studies show plants reduce stress” (Henryford.com). As humans are naturally nurturing creatures, watering and pruning plants might give us a little burst of altruistic energy, too.
By why stop at plants? If a televised aquarium is relaxing, the real thing must be fantastic. When pressure strikes, gazing into a peaceful world beneath the water can only make things better; channel your inner goldfish and become centered. Bill brings his labs, Loretta and Tess, to work and nothing takes the edge off better than Milk-Bone-scented puppy kisses. There is a reason why emotional support animals have become widely utilized in our uncomfortable modern world.
A tranquil work environment can be accomplished. Whether you spend five minutes practicing yoga or taking a walk on a sunny day, figure out what works for you. We’re all grown ups here and it’s up to us to take care of ourselves.
Bourke Accounting is a pretty stress-free place. If you find yourself at the bottom of a problem mountain, let a Bourke Accounting pro serenely guide you to a peaceful resolution. Your Bourke Accounting specialist has seen it all and trouble doesn’t stand a chance.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, I am the only one without children. So, when my co-workers tell me the things their kids do, I listen as intently as a sociologist learning about a bizarre and lost civilization. It doesn’t matter if my colleagues are recounting tantrums or “I love you, Mom” cards, it’s all so interesting and alien. But when one of my co-workers told me about The Jump Prank, a viral sensation that some kids are into, I had to do some investigating.
Let me start by saying that the pranks my friends and I pulled were fairly tame. “Ring and Run” was good for a few laughs. We even did the flaming dog poop in the bag trick – except we thought putting poop in a bag was rude and we never had the nerve to light it, so really, we just left paper bags on the neighbors’ doorsteps. I must admit, though, kids today are a little scary:
1) The Jump Prank (or Skull Breaker Challenge). I don’t usually believe cautionary internet horror stories, but a demonstration was included in an article I read and I was actually able to witness this. It starts with three people where one, the victim, has no idea what’s going on. The two culprits angle themselves on either side of the target and say something along the lines of, “Let’s see who can jump the highest!” When the clueless one jumps, the others kick the legs out from under her/him. It’s the height of entertainment to watch a pal smack that cranium into the concrete, right? Obviously, this little trick can cause a lot of damage. In November of last year, this prank caused so much damage that Emanuela Medeiros, aged 16, died after her “friends” pulled it on her (Somersetlive.co.uk).
2) Drano Bombs. Similar to the fun of watching a friend suffer cracked vertebrae, some little savages think blowing fingers off is comedy at its finest. With this prank, aluminum foil, Drano and water are placed in a plastic bottle; the chemical reaction “releases hydrogen gas” (Snopes.com). The bottle is placed in a mailbox or on a lawn. When an unsuspecting victim picks up the bottle, the bottle explodes. Besides the harm the explosion causes, the victim is drenched with caustic chemicals that burn the skin and can lead to blindness (Rare.us). When I read that authorities have warned against picking up discarded bottles on front lawns, I thought that this reeked of “urban legend” (IHeart.com). However, over the decades, children have been arrested for creating these bombs (News.WBFO.org, Fox19.com) and people have been injured (ABC7NY.com).
I didn’t have to pass Psychology 101 to know that the brains of kids aren’t done baking and that they have trouble understanding the repercussions of their actions. The kids aren’t evil – they’re just very, very stupid. To avoid having your kid end up on the local 5 o’clock news, here are a few bits of advice for you: talk to your kids, check out her/his computer’s search history and caution them against cracking skulls and blowing off appendages. Look at that! It’s almost a pity that I didn’t want kids – I, obviously, have this parenting thing down!
Bourke Accounting experts won’t kick your legs out from under you. In fact, if the world blows off a finger, your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer will be the one to find it for you. Bourke Accounting professions will do everything in their power to keep you financially secure and physically intact in a world filled with sharp objects.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Forgive my intrusion, but fine as those sentiments sound / Little has changed for us peasants down here on the ground – “The Actress Hasn’t Learned the Lines” – Evita
At Bourke Accounting, Bill is the leader – what he says goes. However, he’s not a megalomaniac; if he is presented with coherent evidence regarding why an idea is not feasible, he will concede. I am not a leader (I’m paranoid and don’t want anyone behind me). I am also not a follower, as I find it difficult to blindly allow someone to make decisions for me. Maybe it’s my Gemini nature or maybe I just can’t be bothered.
Because of my reluctance to “play along,” I started thinking of celebrities. The last time I emulated a celebrity, I was 8-years old, wearing jelly bracelets and pretending to be Madonna. Years later, I cringed as the Michigan native spouted nonsense in an unbearable British accent. Had she suffered a severe brain trauma or, more likely, was she a victim of inflated self-importance? The lines of reality have softened when one is furious over not being allowed to use a cryogenic chamber on one’s brand new plane (Thelifeandtimesofhollywood.com).
We’ve seen celebrities do bizarre and anti-social things simply because they could – that’s not new. However, I am constantly amazed when fans imitate that behavior. For example, when Paris Hilton began to carry chihuahuas as fashion accessories, it was vaguely disgusting. Then, animal rescue workers noticed the number of these little dogs surrendered had risen to make up a third of all dogs in shelters (TheGuardian.com). I’m guessing that these fans didn’t have much patience when Ms. Fuzzy Wuzzy Snookums pooped inside of an expensive purse. Dogs need care? I’m surprised, too.
An even darker trend took place in 2014 after Robin Williams committed suicide. In the four months following his death, studies showed a “10% increase in suicides” (CNN.com). It could have been caused by the 24-hour news cycle, a steadily more depressed society or a combination of the two. It could have also been the last straw for people already suffering from disordered thinking: if a rich and beloved star can’t be happy, there’s no hope for the rest of us. While celebrities are real people, with real emotions, they must also be aware that their actions are capable of influencing some of the masses.
Whether it’s supporting animal rights, the environment or attending our current protests, I always question the motivations of celebrities. For example, I find the practice of celebrities posting pictures of themselves at protests problematic. If the message is the important part, why do we have a very determined – and maskless (we wouldn’t recognize him otherwise, duh!) – Ben Affleck posing for pictures? While some really do believe in the cause, I think others are there simply to be seen. And interestingly enough, these tourists are not like you and me. As soon as it gets dark, or violent, these celebrities have the option to quietly and safely retreat to gated communities. After spending two hours walking down a sunny street, they won’t have to live among the ashes if fires break out. While everyone is lauding these brave stars for demonstrating with the people, I dare you to try to protest amongst the Beverly Hills mansions.
America allows for differing opinions and that’s great. However, don’t follow what anyone tells you to do if repercussions aren’t equally shared. And remember, stars are just people with better hair.
Bourke Accounting experts aren’t easily led. Bourke Accounting experts also aren’t very impressed by money and status. No matter who you are, you will be treated just like everyone else when you sit down with your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer. In short, you will be treated as an equal with the capacity to make up your own mind.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.