I’ve told you how much your Bourke Accounting professional likes you. And, at Bourke Accounting, we hope you like us, too. I hate to bring up a sore subject, but if you think about it, the relationship you have with your bookkeeper or tax preparer can be compared to social distancing – you keep me safe and I keep you safe. Your financial expert trusts that you are telling the truth and you assume that your expert is telling you the truth.
This is just the natural way in a civilized society, but after reading The Kiplinger Tax Letter the other day, it would appear that some of us just don’t know how to behave.
For example, Kiplinger reported in their 4/17 newsletter that a tax preparer was recently barred from ever preparing tax returns again and must pay $545,000 in restitution to the US Government. Why? Because this gentleman decided to prepare returns that included “phony business income and expenses [and] education expenses” (Kiplinger, Vol. 95, No. 8). In addition, the gentleman then charged a larger fee because of these much bigger tax refunds (Kiplinger). A legitimate tax preparer will offer an upfront price – your refund amount shouldn’t have anything to do with accounting fees.
And then you have clients like Mike Sorrentino (“The Situation”), a reality television “star” from The Jersey Shore. This guy, along with his brother, “intentionally failed to inform [his accountant] about the true income amount” (Don’tmesswithtaxes.com) he received from his MTV show. In addition, Sorrentino gave his tax preparer a list of business expenses that weren’t quite right. Basically, “The Situation” bought a whole lotta stuff for personal use and thought: Well, shucks, I need this for my business, sort of. According to Forbes, these false returns “defrauded the IRS out of between $550,000 and $1.5 million.”
Gregg Mark, the accountant, pled guilty to filing fraudulent returns, agreed to work with prosecutors and avoided jail time (“The Situation” received 8 months in jail). When Gregg Mark admitted his fault, he explained that he filed false returns “to reduce the taxes owed by the Sorrentinos” (Accountingtoday.com). I don’t know if Mark is still able to prepare returns, but he has a Linkedin page, so that’s a little scary.
Was Gregg Mark trying to be a “bro” when he filed fraudulent returns? I mean, according to his profile, Mr. Mark has been an accountant for 33 years (no, I’m not including a link). After 33 years, you’d think an accountant on the up and up wouldn’t do illegal things in order to curry favor with a 30-something with a dubious claim to fame.
If you have any bookkeeper or tax preparer worth their salt, you’d better be prepared to furnish proof of dependents, business expenses and income. If your financial professional doesn’t require these things from you, as Gregg Mark has shown, there will be one more person on the prosecution’s side if things go sideways.
Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers are not your “bros”. They won’t file fraudulent anything, with or without your knowledge. In a willy-nilly world, the one thing you can depend on is a wholly transparent relationship with your Bourke Accounting expert. Your Bourke Accounting pros can protect your financial interests better than a Teflon vest, but you wouldn’t ask them to take a bullet for you now, would you?
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See You Soon!
Written by Sue H.
You know that we are animal friendly at Bourke Accounting. Both Bill and Bookkeeper Christina like dogs. Some Bourke Accounting experts like unicorns, some prefer kitties, some really dig birds. And of course, I want to be a panther. All of these animals, both real and fantastical, are super cool. However, there is one animal that is the stuff of nightmares – swimming around right now – and it’s weirder than anything H.P. Lovecraft ever thought of.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce my favorite obsession: The Deep-Sea Anglerfish.
So, what makes the deep-sea angler fish so interesting? Well, as you can see above, this is one frightening looking fishy; between the huge underbite, the needle-like teeth and the weird bioluminescent doodad that hangs from her head, she’s, most likely, not someone you’d like to share a bubble bath with. I am not being sexist by using the feminine pronoun; only female deep-sea anglerfish have the shiny head thingamajig.
Besides looking fascinatingly alien, most of these fish live in desolate environments: 3,000 feet below the surface in the Atlantic and Antarctic oceans (Nationalgeographic.com). Down there, it’s dark and it’s freezing and these weird little guys have evolved to significantly impressive levels. The glowing head lure that the females sport is “filled with bacteria that make their own light” (Oceana.org). This lure attracts “pelagic crustaceans, fish, and other prey” (Oceana.org) way down in the depths.
The female angler is about the size of a football while the male is about the “size of a small finger” (Seasky.org). Nothing strange about that – a lot of species have size discrepancies between female and male members. Male deep-sea anglerfish also don’t have glow sticks stuck to their noggins. Again, nothing odd there, a lot of animals have different appearances depending on sex. The most truly bizarre aspect of these guys is the way in which they mate.
As the little male deep-sea anglerfish gets older, his “digestive system degenerates, making it impossible for [him] to feed on [his] own” (Seasky.org). Well, that seems like a design flaw, right? Flawed maybe, but the boys make up for this short-coming when a lady angler enters the picture. Once the comparatively tiny male finds his sweetheart, he bites her. Then he “releases an enzyme that dissolves the skin of his mouth and that of her body” (Seasky.org). Having done this, the male is now being fed by the female’s blood and, eventually, the male’s “eyes and fins atrophy away” (Wired.com). Oh, but his…um…man parts stay intact (yup, man parts just kind of stuck to the side of her body). This way, when the female is ready to “spawn, she has a mate instantly available” (Seasky.org). The female can accommodate around six males and once you’re hooked on her, you are hooked for life. Sadly, only about “one percent of males” (Wired.com) find true love; the wallflowers are left to die of starvation.
Although it seems like the world is getting strange these days, if you think about it, the world has always been strange – the romantic world of the deep-sea anglerfish is all the evidence required.
Much like my beloved anglerfish, Bourke Accounting pros are adaptable and evolve as our strange world dictates. Whether it’s helping you to navigate your small business relief package or planning for a different economy, your Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers are up to date on all of the changes in our new and different world.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See You Soon!
Written by Sue H.