Now that I look at the title, I’m wondering if I should have called this something else…
Lawyers see a lot of divorce; real estate agents see it, too. I’d like to say tax firms, like Bourke Accounting, are exempt from such sad occasions, but that would be a lie. If you work in the financial industry, you’ve probably experienced that awkward silence that comes after cheerfully joking with a client, “Hey, [Your Significant Other] is too good to meet with me today? What’s up with that?” After the awkward silence, there’s an even more awkward explanation regarding SO’s current location. Sometimes, it’s a quick and easy divorce story: It just didn’t work out. But sometimes, sometimes there’s nothing easy about the story; heartbreak, betrayal, four-letter words, pool guys and secretaries…
Divorce is sad. Generally, when people walk down the aisle, they’re not planning the uncomfortable tax preparer meeting a few years in the future. Whether the divorce occurs because of abuse or money issues, most people simply don’t expect their “I do” to someday expand into “I do hate you.”
However, for anyone going through the Big D, I have a little bit of good news for you. If your spouse happened to accidentally fall into bed with your best friend, why don’t you sue that conniving, dirty best friend of yours?
Although this sounds mental, if you live in Hawaii, Illinois, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota or Utah (AJC.com), it is legal to bring down a storm of litigation onto the head of your own personal homewrecker.
If you live in one of the above states and your SO left you for someone else, why not try alleging Criminal Conversation or Alienation of Affection (AJC.com)? These torts began life in 17th century England (so you know they’re classy), “based off the notion that a man ‘owned’ his wife’s affection” and anyone who turned the wife’s head, ought to be held monetarily liable (AJC.com). To win with Criminal Conversation, infidelity must be proven, generally with photos or video. It’s almost like taking your spouse to the cleaners during the divorce proceedings, but you get to exact revenge on that hotsy totsy seducer, as well.
Alienation of Affection is a little more difficult to prove, but seemingly worth it. For this offense to be effective, you must prove that a third party was responsible for your break-up. While it’s mostly used against the other woman/man, it also includes “therapists, clergy members and family members” (Divorcenet.com). For this to work, you have to prove that you and your SO had a good marriage and someone else’s “wrongful and malicious behavior directly caused the alienation” (Divorcenet.com) between you and your SO. If your mother-in-law convinces your spouse to leave you, you just might be looking at a cool payday. For example, in North Carolina in 2011, Betty Devin, the mistress (and now wife) of Donald Puryear was ordered to pay $30 million to his ex-wife, Carol Puryear (Wikipedia.org). Puryear will probably never get the money, but she made her point. I guess.
These claims are stupid and archaic. A third party has no responsibility to protect the sanctity of someone else’s relationship. When people get married, it’s their responsibility to stay true. These torts are akin to one engineer suing a rubbernecking bystander after the train crash. Obviously, these lawsuits are designed to sooth hurt feelings and wreak vengeance upon another person.
Your Bourke Accounting professionals have dealt with divorced clients before, so you won’t shock anyone with tales of torrid affairs. Also, your Bourke Accounting specialist can help you and your ex come to reasonable, financial terms. Bourke Accounting experts aren’t divorce attorneys, but they can guide you and your unintended to an equal and fair resolution.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Bill over here at Bourke Accounting says that I complain too much. My ma says that I complain too much. When I talk about them saying that I complain too much, my friends say that I complain too much. I don’t agree with them (so they’re wrong). I don’t complain at all; I merely “express dissatisfaction or annoyance” (Lexico.com) most of the time. And that’s not complaining.
However, since I’m being painted as a whiner anyway, I am going to share three things that have been getting on my nerves recently. If you look deep within yourself (or maybe not even that deep), I believe you will agree with me:
1) People wearing pajamas in public. I don’t mean the bathrobe mailbox checkers. I mean people who get into the car, drive for 15 minutes and then spend 30 minutes shopping, all while sporting a Cookie Monster onesie. It’s especially special when you can see, by the numerous and poorly mopped up SpaghettiOs stains, how they truly love canned pasta. Obviously, public pajamas are just another indication of a decaying world. Throwing on a shirt and jeans takes less than 60 seconds, but the lives of these pajama people are clearly too action-packed to waste even a minute. Honestly, I think this practice is evidence of an increasingly careless society. It shows, perhaps, a lazy lack of respect for one’s self and others. I’m not saying we should spend 4 hours getting ready to go to the store, but we should at least wear pants that don’t have butt flaps when wandering around Kroger’s.
2) Ill-behaved children. I once watched a kid, while screaming incessantly, deliberately knock bottles of olive oil off of a store shelf. The parent crouched down, said something like, “Hey, Champ, if you don’t break anything else, I’ll buy you a Happy Meal.” And, off they went (I wonder if the parent informed workers about the slippery mess). Some parents want to be friends with their children and I don’t think this is a good idea. Obviously, when the child reaches adulthood, the parent/child relationship changes to something closer to a peer relationship, but that shouldn’t happen when the kid is 5. If little Johnny won’t stop peeing on the dog, stronger direction is clearly needed. Also, when a parent allows a child to treat her/him as an equal, the child will think it’s all right to treat every adult as an equal. If a child has ever told you to “shut your stupid mouth, stupidhead,” you know the exquisite, and admittedly irrational, rage this inspires. Child psychologists suggest that the dawn of the “helicopter” parent has created a generation of children that “never learn to manage their own behavior” (TheGlobeandMail.com), as mom and dad are constantly doing it for them. In addition, I think social media is giving children an over-inflated sense of worth and entitlement. When a child gets 20 “likes” with practically no effort, that child will believe that every single little thing they do is worthy of instant adoration – and have a tantrum if they don’t receive it.
3) People who have entire conversations using speakerphone in confined spaces. I don’t want to know who Pauly cheated with and I certainly don’t care what you’re going to do when you run into the little homewrecker. I could go on about this particular pet peeve for years….
These things annoy me. What annoys me more, though, is when a stranger tries to “fix” someone’s annoying behavior in public. As humans, we must face the fact that we are the most irritating animals on Earth and give each other a little slack. Since we’re stuck here anyway, running around like maniacs, everything will go much smoother if we quietly forgive and move along to the next aisle.
Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers won’t look at you funny if you wear your electric blue onesie to your appointment (and I’ll stay quiet). Since Bourke Accounting experts are professionals, they have a very high annoyance tolerance. The only things your Bourke Accounting specialist care about is delivering the best and most accurate service and keeping you happy always.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours – Harry S. Truman
Since I’ve started working for Bourke Accounting, I’ve learned new things; I’m not ready to complete your corporate tax return, but I’ve absorbed some information. Because of this, I was embarrassed that I couldn’t definitively list the fundamental differences between a recession and a depression. I knew that both recessions and depressions meant less money for everyone. I knew that, in 2008, the recession made finding a job nightmarish. And I also knew that The Great Depression was one sincerely dark period for America that I read about in History class.
My skimpy comprehension laid bare above is none too impressive. What is even less impressive than that is the fact that, although economists might be able to provide an intelligent definition, they’re almost as ignorant as I am regarding how to combat either.
Cashay.com defines a recession as a “period when the gross domestic product…falls for two consecutive quarters.” At this point, it should come as no surprise that The National Bureau of Economic Research has just reported that the “COVID-19 crisis has officially launched the US economy into a recession” (Finance.Yahoo.com). Cashay.com then backs up the NBER data by reminding us that all of the omens for a good old recession are in the air: unemployment, real estate slumps, lack of consumer spending and drops in business activity. Yeah, a recession warning seems legit.
According to Cashay.com, a depression is “considered a more severe and extended recession.” Basically, a depression is just your average recession on crack. What makes our current situation a lot scarier is that, besides failing businesses and bankrupted individuals, we’re also forced to contend with a disease. If, after states fully reopen, there’s an increase in corona infection, people will be reluctant to “resume shopping, eating out and engaging in other consumer activities” (NBCNews.com). Obviously, it will be hard to restart the economy if no one is out there spending.
So now that we’re dipping our toes in the recession pool, we find that the water is cold. Some articles attempt to offer guidance on how best to struggle through these times. The most common tip is to save money; Sea.Mashable.com suggests saving “3 to 6 months’ worth of monthly expenses.” I’m not sure how to tell Sea.Mashable that unemployed people, some of whom still haven’t received benefits, have nothing to save. Another great piece of advice is to use your emergency fund. Great idea, but “just 40% of Americans could pay an unexpected $1,000 expense” (CNBC.com), so what emergency fund, guys?
The final word? Take whatever help the government is offering. Literally, that’s the last bullet point in about 10 articles I’ve read. There is no encouragement given after that suggestion, either. No “don’t worry, it’ll be ok,” – nope, it’s just “hold out your hand and hope the government has something left for you.” Dare I wonder if America’s financial journalists are depressed?
I don’t believe that there will be a depression and I think that our recession will be short-lived. Trust the person who couldn’t define the words when she tells you not to worry about either. Maybe I’ve watched too many 1980s romance movies, but after everything we’ve been through, I think the underdog is going to score the winning goal and get to kiss the popular love interest at the end. Oh, and don’t worry, it’ll be ok.
At Bourke Accounting, the advice is much better than the kind given by sad writers. While our Bourke Accounting pros won’t sugarcoat your situation, they will explore every avenue to help you. Our Bourke Accounting experts won’t suggest the impossible and they sure as anything won’t tell you to hold out your hand and hope for the best. At Bourke Accounting, you will receive real assistance to battle any recession.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Having an open mind is a beautiful thing. At our weekly staff meetings, Bourke Accounting employees are encouraged to share ideas. Whether it’s a proposal for a new business-related practice or a philosophical concept, all thoughts are welcomed (this extends to clients, too). Lively debates give us the opportunity to peek into each other’s minds while making things a lot more interesting.
It was during one of these meetings that someone mentioned the Flat Earth Society. I’ve heard of people who are convinced that our Earth is flat, but I never really gave it much thought. Without any study, I – perhaps evidencing a narrow mind – considered the idea on par with Lizard Men from Outer Space and 5G mind control.
Back around 500 BCE, the ancient Greeks deduced that our Earth is round. Since then, we have come to accept that we live on a spinning ball. However, in 1881, Samuel Rowbotham published Earth Not a Globe, a book arguing for the flat earth premise (Wikipedia.org). Rowbotham came to his conclusion using the “Zetetic method.” This belief system suggests that “sensory observations” are the only observations that can be trusted (Livescience.com). Therefore, if you perceive that the Earth is flat, the only possible “deduction is that it must actually be flat” (Livescience.com).
Stunningly (and incomprehensibly), the concept of a flat earth is gaining wider acceptance; YouGov reported that about one third of Americans (aged 18-24) believe our world is flat (Phys.org). Social media influencers, musicians and athletes are among the newly indoctrinated (Phys.org) and they are loud.
When confronted by any conspiracy theory, I always ask who gains from having the masses believe the party line and why do “they” want us to believe it. According to the Flat Earth Society’s website, the who in this case is every single government. The round Earth lie started during the Cold War, when all countries faked space travel to keep up with each other’s “accomplishments” (TFES.org). When the Cold War ended, the Flat Earthers contend, “space travel” programs continued to provide “them” with vast sums of money to embezzle (TFES.org). That’s right, every “astronaut,” pilot and official are all in on it.
Also, oceans don’t drip off into space because what we call “Antarctica” is actually the name of the huge sheets of ice that encircle our floating plate. No one has been there and pictures purported to be taken there are photoshopped. Not to mention, NASA guards the edges. With weaponry (Sciencesensei.com).
But, Sue, we can see other planets and they look round, so why would Earth be different? That’s easy: “Earth is not a planet…as it sits at the center of our solar system above which the planets and the Sun revolve” (TFES.org). Since Earth is so unique, it is folly to compare it with anything else we can observe in the night sky. Question answered.
Believing that the Earth is flat is pretty harmless. Although, in February 2020, “Mad” Mike Hughes – using a homemade rocket in an attempt to snap pictures of a flat Earth – did accidentally kill himself (Globalnews.ca), but this is not the norm. Flat Earthers are a calm bunch and, while I don’t share their belief, I’m happy these people are around just to make things interesting.
Feel free to discuss your unconventional views with your Bourke Accounting expert (if you can change Bill’s mind concerning anything, I will personally give you a dollar). Bourke Accounting specialists are a perfect mix of traditional bean counters and innovative iconoclasts; Bourke Accounting reps are able to think outside of the box while keeping a healthy respect for the box.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Considering the current societal climate, it was natural for me to start thinking about villains. In America, we really love our fictional bad guys. For example, at Bourke Accounting, Boss Bill’s favorite is Krystle Carrington from Dynasty. I think he may be messing with me, as she’s described as a “tender, loving woman” (Wikipedia.org), but with Bill, one can never be sure. Bookkeeper Christina, self-proclaimed rapscallion admirer, immediately chose The Joker as portrayed in Suicide Squad. My favorite is Amy Elliot-Dunne from Gillian Flynn’s novel, Gone Girl. While she doesn’t share The Joker’s wholesale murderous mania, her ability to chip away the humanity of every person in her life is diabolical.
So why do we like the naughty fellas? First, and obviously, is because we need a bad guy in order to have a hero. Without the Joker (and the murdered parents), Batman would just be Bill Gates. The villain’s only function is to give the hero purpose. Also, villains add drama to what would otherwise be a boring storyline; as The Violent Femmes questioned, “Don’t you know it’s boring when it’s quiet and serene” (“Life is a Scream”)?
Purpose. Humans like purpose. Also, humans like over-the-top psychos. Look at Darth Vader. The man vaporized Princess Leia’s entire home planet of Alderaan simply to show off a new toy. Maybe it’s some part of our reptilian brain at work, but we enjoy living vicariously through antagonists. We watch someone do what they want, when they want, and perhaps feel a tinge of jealousy. Chances are, you will never get the opportunity to destroy a planet. I’m sorry.
Additionally, the idea of a villain is the idea of freedom. Villains don’t have morals, so they never experience that sleepless, “dark night of the soul.” Villains never apologize; villains never cringe after hurting a loved one’s feelings. Villains also know exactly who they are – they are the most self-aware individuals in any story. The bad guy is fully cognizant of the difference between good and evil and consistently chooses evil. We know that we can depend on the bad character to be reliably bad.
Finally, the villains always look the coolest. Think of Maleficent. Besides being way more interesting than the boring little princess and prince, Maleficent can turn into a dragon. Best wardrobe change ever.
While watching supremely intelligent, cool-looking baddies on film is great, the concept doesn’t lend itself to reality. Most real-life bad guys have the pettiest and silliest motivations behind their misdeeds. For example, there’s a guy who teargassed civilians because his fragile “masculinity” was damaged when he was forced to hide in a basement. Also, think of every man who killed his wife because he wanted to start a life with a another woman. These are clearly not super-genius villains.
Another problem with real bad guys is that they very rarely are aware that they are, in fact, the bad guy. Take racists, for instance. Whether it’s a matter of poor upbringing or sheer mad dog stupidity, most racists can’t understand that what they stand for is grotesque. They don’t comprehend that there’s a difference between being proud of one’s heritage and actively stomping on the lives and rights of those they deem “inferior.”
While we may enjoy criminals on screen, criminals in real life are frightening. Therefore, it’s up to us to actively try to be the good guys. And remember, the main job of heroes is to constantly foil the plans of the demented malcontent bent on the destruction of unity and justice.
We might not be saving the world, but make no mistake, Bourke Accounting specialists are the good guys. At Bourke Accounting, the main goals are protecting the financial stability and futures of our clients. After sitting down with your Bourke Accounting expert, you will know that a hero is supporting you all the way.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.