We look around our burning and confused world and ask 2020, “What’d we ever do to you?” There’s a golfer hiding in the White House basement, busily retweeting racist things (and claiming ignorant innocence later). Everyone’s killing each other. News sources are warning of a second wave when the first hasn’t even broken yet. In early May, one third of Americans reported feeling anxiety and depression (USNews.com). We are undeniably sad and lost.
Because of these terrible facts, I want to get a little weird and a little unnecessary now. If you feel like forgetting things for a minute, come along and get weirdly unnecessary with me:
1) Don’t throw money down the toilet. As you know, a lot of us are financially damaged, however, every time you sit down, you’re sitting on a goldmine! According to the CDC, nearly half a million people suffer from Clostridioides difficile infections, a bacterium that causes severe gastrointestinal distress, each year. OpenBiome is a nonprofit organization that is combatting this ailment with their cutting-edge research, fecal transplants and a little help from you (OpenBiome.org). With OpenBiome and your poop donations, you can earn up to $13,000 a year and serve the public! Not only that, but OpenBiome offers prizes to “donors who make the most donations [and] provide the biggest sample” (IFLScience.com)!
2) Let’s learn from the bonobos! Bonobo chimpanzees are cute furry guys who share more than “98 percent of our genetic profile” (ScientificAmerican.com). And bonobos do like to share: they share food, parenting responsibilities and they really share their bodies. Unlike other chimps, bonobos aren’t aggressive. For example, if food is offered to a group of bonobos, they won’t fight over it; instead, everyone participates in a lovefest and then eats dinner (ScientificAmerican.com). Every conflict that these chimps face is met with lovemaking and grooming rather than blood and teeth. Also, their orientation is fluid to the point of nonexistence – if a female is angry with another female, let’s just say the ill-will doesn’t lead to a brawl, as they’re otherwise occupied. And they’re friendly – if a strange bonobo wanders into an established group, there is no vying for dominance. I think you know how the group gets to know the stranger (ScientificAmerican.com) – bonobos are true swingers (couldn’t resist). Two last things: bonobos won’t practice their conflict resolution skills with any member too closely related to them and they like passionately kissing (ScientificAmerican.com)! So, the next time you want to fight, think: What would a bonobo do?
3) That is your shirt! Have you ever seen someone wearing a shirt that looks exactly like your lost 1972 Stones concert tee? If you lost luggage at the airport, it very well might be your shirt. Airlines keep unclaimed luggage for five days; after that, they either donate the bags or sell them to a company like The Unclaimed Baggage Center (Science.HowStuffWorks.com). Want a calf hair belt or diabetic socks? The Unclaimed Baggage Center has both in stock right now!
Knowing about bonobos won’t change our lives, but it’s good that there are still mildly weird and harmless things out there. And I could be wrong, maybe learning about unclaimed baggage will inspire our next peacemaker to bring about an era of harmony and respect.
Although our Bourke Accounting pros are strong, they need a break from harsh reality once in a while, too. So, when you’re sitting across from your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer, don’t hesitate to share a little-known nugget of information. While Bourke Accounting experts know a lot, they’re always interested in learning more.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I was filling in for Phil the other day here at Bourke Accounting. Bill asked me to turn on the high-def TV and put something unoffensive on – Phil usually chooses some sort of pastoral scene with gently swaying flowers. Technology scares me and I was looking at two remote controls (my TV at home is from 1981). After button smushing I, happily accidentally, arrived at something like “10 Hours – Aquarium for Relaxation.” All of a sudden, contented and colorful fish were swimming across the screen! Bill came back, glanced at the TV, and mused, “That’s nice. What else can we do to keep from going crazy?”
With the current state of our world, stress has become a familiar thorn in our collective side. However, if we’re being honest, even before the current state, anxiety was no stranger to us. For example, stress “causes around one million workers to miss work every day” (Stress.org). Not only that, but work-related stress causes “120,000 deaths and results in $190 billion in healthcare costs yearly” (Stress.org). With grim numbers like that, Bill is right to question what can be done.
One option is The Calm Booth by ROOM. This thing looks like a coffin standing up (and it might be straight out of the psych ward), but it’s much more than that! It’s soundproof, it has a frosted door for privacy, soft lighting, “a beautiful and soothing misty forest interior” (Blog.calm.com) AND 12 subscriptions to the Calm app – all for the low, low price of $4,195 (Room.com)! When workers are stressed, they can go sit in a phone booth coffin, listen to Nature Soundscapes and “return to work refreshed, relaxed, happier and more creative” (Blog.calm.com). I guess.
For employers who are not insane, let’s move on. This next one is an idea that Bourke Accounting implements and it works: personalizing your space. Bill allows us to paint our walls any color we choose. In addition, we’re welcome to pick wall hangings and knickknacks – I have a seriously cool Edie Sedgwick print and an Alice and Wonderland clock. This is important because, as we spend at least eight hours a day in these spaces, they ought to reflect our personalities. In addition, surrounding yourself with pretty and familiar objects creates a comfortable little cradle where you can escape without leaving the building. And painting lasts longer than the Calm app.
Another calming idea is living things. I inherited a hanging tree plant-thing named Marc. When I can’t think of a word, I ask Marc’s opinion (many of us talk to ourselves at Bourke, so no one is sending me to The Calm Booth quite yet) and, more often than not, I get my word. Also, plants brighten up a room, “bring in moisture and help clean indoor air” (Henryford.com). Finally, “studies show plants reduce stress” (Henryford.com). As humans are naturally nurturing creatures, watering and pruning plants might give us a little burst of altruistic energy, too.
By why stop at plants? If a televised aquarium is relaxing, the real thing must be fantastic. When pressure strikes, gazing into a peaceful world beneath the water can only make things better; channel your inner goldfish and become centered. Bill brings his labs, Loretta and Tess, to work and nothing takes the edge off better than Milk-Bone-scented puppy kisses. There is a reason why emotional support animals have become widely utilized in our uncomfortable modern world.
A tranquil work environment can be accomplished. Whether you spend five minutes practicing yoga or taking a walk on a sunny day, figure out what works for you. We’re all grown ups here and it’s up to us to take care of ourselves.
Bourke Accounting is a pretty stress-free place. If you find yourself at the bottom of a problem mountain, let a Bourke Accounting pro serenely guide you to a peaceful resolution. Your Bourke Accounting specialist has seen it all and trouble doesn’t stand a chance.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
None who attacks them can escape, and none can catch them if they desire not to be found – Herodotus, on the Scythians – 5th Century BCE
Over here at Bourke Accounting, Bill breezed by and, nonchalantly, asked what I was working on (sometimes he wonders what he’s paying me for). In a perfectly rambling manner, I explained my obsession and love for the Scythian people. Bill’s eyes glazed appreciably as he subtly backed away and disappeared around the corner. I haven’t seen him for quite a while now.
I first learned about the Scythians back in college and it’s a society that has stuck with me these many years. The Scythians were a group of nomads who hung out around Siberia from about 900 BCE to 200 BCE (Blog.BritishMuseum.org). Yeah, I know, that definition doesn’t exactly inspire adoration, but wait! There’s more! First off, the Scythians were pure terrors on horseback. Not only were they the best riders in the area, they were such great horse breeders that Clearsky Farms would be envious. And once on horseback, the Scythians were one of the first groups to use mounted warfare with one of the “earliest fully composite bows” (Archeryhistorian.com). These bows were shorter than those of their enemies and a lot more accurate. In addition, Scythians made sure their enemies didn’t get up again by poisoning their arrowheads with Scythicon – a mixture of putrefied vipers, human blood and animal poop (Historyhit.com).
Besides being the fiercest fighters in the land, Scythians were hardcore partiers. They got drunk often and had a ritual based around “getting high on hemp in a kind of mobile ‘weed sauna’” (Blog.BritishMuseum.org). After battling and riding for hours, the Scythians understood and respected the medicinal attributes of wacky tabaccy. Not to be mistaken for Burning Man attendees, the Scythians were also heavily tattooed with intricate animal designs, using methods that closely resemble modern tattooing (Blog.BritishMuseum.org).
One other thing: all of the above were the common, day-to-day activities of both men and women. For example, women would “remain virgins until they could kill three of their enemies” (En.Wikipedia.org) in battle. My professor said this was because a woman had to prove her strength in order to show that she was worthy of childrearing and marriage (the same was expected of boys). Another example of the equality between men and women showed in their burial rites. When Scythians died, they were mummified and buried with all of the weaponry and honors befitting a warrior (including their sacrificed horse, sadly) (Ancient-origins.net); discovered remains show that “over a third of the…skeletons…are typed as females with heavy battle scarring” (Vice.com). It’s believed by anthropologists that Scythians were labeled “barbarians” by their contemporaries because of the equal opportunities shared by the sexes (Ancient-origins.net). For example, women of Greece (the closest comparable culture) had no political rights and were “controlled by men at nearly every stage of their lives” (Penn. Museum). Scythian women were obviously not the gentle and perfumed creatures sequestered inside well-appointed homes.
Scythian culture was based on equality, nobility and courage (and weed and blood). Because the ladies were expected to carry their weight, the Scythians were able to utilize their entire population toward a common goal. When everyone is included and respected, everyone wins.
Bourke Accounting women are as highly trained as Bourke Accounting men (and just as fierce with the IRS). Bourke Accounting doesn’t believe in different standards for different folks. When you sit down with your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer, our promise of accuracy and efficiency is of the greatest import and it really shows.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
At Bourke Accounting, I am the only one without children. So, when my co-workers tell me the things their kids do, I listen as intently as a sociologist learning about a bizarre and lost civilization. It doesn’t matter if my colleagues are recounting tantrums or “I love you, Mom” cards, it’s all so interesting and alien. But when one of my co-workers told me about The Jump Prank, a viral sensation that some kids are into, I had to do some investigating.
Let me start by saying that the pranks my friends and I pulled were fairly tame. “Ring and Run” was good for a few laughs. We even did the flaming dog poop in the bag trick – except we thought putting poop in a bag was rude and we never had the nerve to light it, so really, we just left paper bags on the neighbors’ doorsteps. I must admit, though, kids today are a little scary:
1) The Jump Prank (or Skull Breaker Challenge). I don’t usually believe cautionary internet horror stories, but a demonstration was included in an article I read and I was actually able to witness this. It starts with three people where one, the victim, has no idea what’s going on. The two culprits angle themselves on either side of the target and say something along the lines of, “Let’s see who can jump the highest!” When the clueless one jumps, the others kick the legs out from under her/him. It’s the height of entertainment to watch a pal smack that cranium into the concrete, right? Obviously, this little trick can cause a lot of damage. In November of last year, this prank caused so much damage that Emanuela Medeiros, aged 16, died after her “friends” pulled it on her (Somersetlive.co.uk).
2) Drano Bombs. Similar to the fun of watching a friend suffer cracked vertebrae, some little savages think blowing fingers off is comedy at its finest. With this prank, aluminum foil, Drano and water are placed in a plastic bottle; the chemical reaction “releases hydrogen gas” (Snopes.com). The bottle is placed in a mailbox or on a lawn. When an unsuspecting victim picks up the bottle, the bottle explodes. Besides the harm the explosion causes, the victim is drenched with caustic chemicals that burn the skin and can lead to blindness (Rare.us). When I read that authorities have warned against picking up discarded bottles on front lawns, I thought that this reeked of “urban legend” (IHeart.com). However, over the decades, children have been arrested for creating these bombs (News.WBFO.org, Fox19.com) and people have been injured (ABC7NY.com).
I didn’t have to pass Psychology 101 to know that the brains of kids aren’t done baking and that they have trouble understanding the repercussions of their actions. The kids aren’t evil – they’re just very, very stupid. To avoid having your kid end up on the local 5 o’clock news, here are a few bits of advice for you: talk to your kids, check out her/his computer’s search history and caution them against cracking skulls and blowing off appendages. Look at that! It’s almost a pity that I didn’t want kids – I, obviously, have this parenting thing down!
Bourke Accounting experts won’t kick your legs out from under you. In fact, if the world blows off a finger, your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer will be the one to find it for you. Bourke Accounting professions will do everything in their power to keep you financially secure and physically intact in a world filled with sharp objects.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Forgive my intrusion, but fine as those sentiments sound / Little has changed for us peasants down here on the ground – “The Actress Hasn’t Learned the Lines” – Evita
At Bourke Accounting, Bill is the leader – what he says goes. However, he’s not a megalomaniac; if he is presented with coherent evidence regarding why an idea is not feasible, he will concede. I am not a leader (I’m paranoid and don’t want anyone behind me). I am also not a follower, as I find it difficult to blindly allow someone to make decisions for me. Maybe it’s my Gemini nature or maybe I just can’t be bothered.
Because of my reluctance to “play along,” I started thinking of celebrities. The last time I emulated a celebrity, I was 8-years old, wearing jelly bracelets and pretending to be Madonna. Years later, I cringed as the Michigan native spouted nonsense in an unbearable British accent. Had she suffered a severe brain trauma or, more likely, was she a victim of inflated self-importance? The lines of reality have softened when one is furious over not being allowed to use a cryogenic chamber on one’s brand new plane (Thelifeandtimesofhollywood.com).
We’ve seen celebrities do bizarre and anti-social things simply because they could – that’s not new. However, I am constantly amazed when fans imitate that behavior. For example, when Paris Hilton began to carry chihuahuas as fashion accessories, it was vaguely disgusting. Then, animal rescue workers noticed the number of these little dogs surrendered had risen to make up a third of all dogs in shelters (TheGuardian.com). I’m guessing that these fans didn’t have much patience when Ms. Fuzzy Wuzzy Snookums pooped inside of an expensive purse. Dogs need care? I’m surprised, too.
An even darker trend took place in 2014 after Robin Williams committed suicide. In the four months following his death, studies showed a “10% increase in suicides” (CNN.com). It could have been caused by the 24-hour news cycle, a steadily more depressed society or a combination of the two. It could have also been the last straw for people already suffering from disordered thinking: if a rich and beloved star can’t be happy, there’s no hope for the rest of us. While celebrities are real people, with real emotions, they must also be aware that their actions are capable of influencing some of the masses.
Whether it’s supporting animal rights, the environment or attending our current protests, I always question the motivations of celebrities. For example, I find the practice of celebrities posting pictures of themselves at protests problematic. If the message is the important part, why do we have a very determined – and maskless (we wouldn’t recognize him otherwise, duh!) – Ben Affleck posing for pictures? While some really do believe in the cause, I think others are there simply to be seen. And interestingly enough, these tourists are not like you and me. As soon as it gets dark, or violent, these celebrities have the option to quietly and safely retreat to gated communities. After spending two hours walking down a sunny street, they won’t have to live among the ashes if fires break out. While everyone is lauding these brave stars for demonstrating with the people, I dare you to try to protest amongst the Beverly Hills mansions.
America allows for differing opinions and that’s great. However, don’t follow what anyone tells you to do if repercussions aren’t equally shared. And remember, stars are just people with better hair.
Bourke Accounting experts aren’t easily led. Bourke Accounting experts also aren’t very impressed by money and status. No matter who you are, you will be treated just like everyone else when you sit down with your Bourke Accounting bookkeeper or tax preparer. In short, you will be treated as an equal with the capacity to make up your own mind.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I just realized that I have never gotten an internal parasite from eating lunch at Bourke Accounting’s weekly staff meeting. As internal parasites are one of my greatest fears (2nd only to bedbugs), I am pleased by this streak of good luck. However, since some of you may be traveling this summer, I decided that a public service message was in order. So, for everyone hitting that open road, here are three hitchhikers to avoid picking up:
1) Tapeworms. Tapeworm infections aren’t common in the US; the CDC estimates that fewer than 1,000 people are infected each year (Health.com). Since the longest worm ever found in a human was 82 feet long, it pays to be careful, though (Healthfacts.blog). Tapeworms may enter our bodies if we eat the undercooked meat of an infected animal. Then, they set up camp to share in our dinner plans. Interestingly, tapeworms have evolved their craft to the point where they, generally, don’t cause many symptoms; “when they do, it’s usually a stomachache, diarrhea or weight loss” (Health.com). If the worm and the human are able to get along, the worm lives “for up to a few years” (Health.com) and dies, whereupon the human’s body either absorbs the dead critter or passes it. However, the pork tapeworm is a different customer: this one can live in your brain, cause seizures and death (Health.com). This infection is caused by eating pork worm eggs “directly from infected human fecal matter” (Health.com). So, make sure you wash your hands and the hands of others. Often.
2) The Human Botfly. This fly lives in Central and South America and, while the fly itself doesn’t cause disease, her babies are evil. The botfly grabs a carrier (usually a mosquito), glues a bunch of eggs to her underside and lets her go (Wired.com). When the mosquito gets close to a human, the human’s body heat causes the eggs to hatch, allowing the babies to tumble onto the victim (Wired.com). The kids either slide down the hole the skeeter made or any other cuts that might be available (Wired.com). The baby then makes whatever hole bigger and shoves its face further in, “the opposite end barely pokes out the skin, allowing the larva to breathe” (Wired.com). They breathe out of their butts, I guess. As they get older, the host usually notices something’s up – botflies “rotate in their little burrows…creating this sort of intense shooting periodic pain” (Wired.com). Womenshealthmag.com suggests covering the botfly hole with bacon, nail polish or petroleum jelly to suffocate it before pulling it out. If you’d like to let it grow up in a good home though, let it be. After about three months, these guys will just sort of fall out and squish away (Wired.com).
3) Loa Loa. This is known as the “eye worm” (Businessinsider.com). Can you guess when it hangs out? If you get bitten by an infected deer fly in Africa, you’ve just made yourself a new pal! After Loa Loa gets inside of its victim, “the worm begins floating around tissue…until it stops and causes swelling and irritation in that spot” (Businessinsider.com). Your vision will usually be fine, but Loa Loa can “be painful when moving about the eyeball or across the bridge of the nose” (Web.stanford.edu). Besides being visible in the eye, they can also sometimes be seen slithering under the skin. Surgery can be used to get them out of eyes and there are medications available to clear up the entire little colony (CDC.gov). Oh, and by the way, they can live inside of you for up to 17 years (Businessinsider.com).
You know what? Don’t go anywhere. Don’t go anywhere, don’t eat anything – let’s just hide under the bed.
You won’t contract any of the above at Bourke Accounting. And if you must go traveling soon, make sure you see your Bourke Accounting pro first; filing your returns before July 15th with a Bourke Accounting expert will make your vacation so much more relaxing. Also, your Bourke Accounting prepared tax return refund will come in handy! Happy (and safe) travels!
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I am currently sitting in my little corner of Bourke Accounting. The air conditioner is humming its peaceful white noise from somewhere above me and I’ve just put my sweater on. It’s hot and muggy outside, off and on thunderstorms. My little corner is well-decorated. It smells clean and, sort of, like scented Kleenex. If I felt like it, I could binge on free snacks in the kitchen right now. I know how good I have it.
Absently appreciating my current situation – and feeling a little guilty about it – is making me think of the people who don’t have it so nice.
In my NYC youth, I had some homeless friends. While some of them blamed mental illness or drug abuse for homelessness, some held that our entire system, political and social, was the culprit. However, the one thing they agreed on was the need to avoid homeless shelters at all costs. It was the consensus that a flattened box on the pavement was a better life choice than risking sexual assault, violence, theft and contagion in the shelters.
While being homeless is bad in the best of weather and economies, the coronavirus has exponentially worsened the circumstances of thousands of people. As social services are struggling to keep up with the demand of those in need and with businesses still not completely open, more people have been driven to shelters (Globalcitizen.org). If these were well-funded and well-appointed programs, there wouldn’t be any trouble. However, that’s not the case. Many (if not all) of these places are “overcrowded and…unsanitary” (Globalcitizen.org); in short, these are perfect breeding grounds for transmission of the virus. In addition, many of those in the most desperate of situations aren’t in good physical condition. Besides having to worry about threats they can see, now they must also fear what might be lurking in the air they’re breathing.
It would appear that they are right to be afraid: in a CDC study, recording from March 27 to April 15, it was found that “25% of residents in 19 shelters tested positive” (Factcheck.org) for the virus. While some shelters have been staggering mealtimes, trying to “limit congregation points…at entrances and exits” (Vice.com) and taking temperatures, it isn’t enough. Shelters are notoriously understaffed and, like mentioned above, dirty. There aren’t enough people to take every temperature and to disinfect all the time.
While America seems to have grown bored of the virus, I’m fairly certain it has not tired of us yet. Within the past 14 days, 20 states have reported a rise in new cases (Advisory.com). This is concerning enough for healthy people with access to food, shelter and health care. However, this is even more devastating to those going into battle empty-handed. Unfortunately, with our world in turmoil, these people are forced to suffer in the dark as they quietly slip through the cracks. This is not to say that more affluent Americans are cold-hearted – it’s literally a matter of “out of sight, out of mind.”
Obviously, we must protect our most vulnerable citizens. On a purely selfish level, if we don’t eradicate COVID-19 among the ranks of our nomadic and homeless populations, our country will forever be at risk of re-infection. We are, literally, in this together. If one of us has corona, it is just a matter of time until we all have corona.
Bourke Accounting encourages you to donate whatever resources you can towards helping each other. While Bourke Accounting knows how unsteady the ground is, we stand with our community in the hopes of combatting injustice and infection. When all is said and done, we will show that our country is one of compassion and courage.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
Yes, so I can dream of escaping this h*ll of a life called work and live my days at my beach house sunning and reading Danielle Steel novels – Bill when asked if he plays the lottery.
I’ve never been a gambler, but as you can see from the above statement, Bourke Accounting’s Bill is. In Bill’s mind, a few wasted dollars is well worth the chance to be independently wealthy. Bookkeeper Christina plays, too, saying, “I play sometimes just for fun and hoping that I can win some big money.” Perhaps I just don’t have the competitive drive of my managers, but I avoid games of chance with an almost Puritanical intensity. Because of my bias, I am sharing Sweepstakes-Gone-Bad stories:
Beginning in 1997, television network HGTV has run a “Dream Home Giveaway.” This year’s winner can choose between a house worth $1,787,809 (plus $250,000 in cash, home furnishings and a car) or a cash prize of $750,000 and a car (HGTV.com). Who wouldn’t love to own an architectural masterpiece in a great neighborhood? As it turns out, many would like to, but few actually can. According to Cheatsheet.com, in the entire history of the contest, “only six [winners] have stayed living in the house for more than a year.” What’s the problem? Murderous neighbors and the angry ghosts of realtors past? Maybe. Or maybe it could just be taxes.
According to one study, winning the house comes with “an average income tax bill of $700,000,” not including state and real estate taxes (Cheatsheet.com). In addition, the houses are huge, so one must consider the horror of utilities. Finally, this year’s house is located on Hilton Head Island, SC. Ever been? Put it this way, chain stores are forced to use tasteful wooden signs (even McDonald’s had to tone down the color of the Golden Arches), so landscaping and maintenance on the new house alone would be enough to bankrupt the winner.
Speaking of bankruptcy, HGTV’s contest actually did bankrupt one of the winners. 2005 winner Don Cruz lost his house after two years. He said that his “tax liability was close to $800,000 and [when he gave up the house] he was already $1.4 million in debt” (Doyouremember.com). One could argue that he should have sought professional financial help before it got to that point, but come on, he was a winner!
So, what about the average joe who buys an average lotto ticket at the local bodega and wins millions? A good story, unless you were Abraham Shakespeare. In 2006, he won $31 million; by 2010 his body was dug out of a shallow grave in his backyard. Shakespeare was illiterate and not great with money when Dee Dee Moore walked into his life in 2008, under the pretense of writing a book about him. By April of 2009, Moore told his friends that Shakespeare was on vacation to avoid moneygrubbers. At one point, Moore pretended to be Shakespeare and texted friends to tell them that he was okay. Friends, surprised that Shakespeare had learned to read, contacted authorities. Moore offered a few scenarios of the murder, one of which featured her 14-year-old son as the killer. The jury didn’t buy any of her concepts and she is now serving life for murder and theft (Murderpedia.org).
So, as you can see, my argument regarding the evils of seemingly innocent contests is valid; the evidence shows, wasting money is bad, but winning money can be even worse.
Although some Bourke Accounting pros play the numbers, you don’t have to worry about getting a new bookkeeper or tax preparer if they win. Bourke Accounting experts are so dedicated to meeting your needs that they could never walk away. While your Bourke Accounting specialists may, one day, be the richest financial authorities in the world, they’re definitely the best right now.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat – George Carlin
Earlier this year, my Bourke Accounting co-workers were really into the television series, Survivor. I haven’t watched the show in years, so their conversations rolled gently past me like an amicable brook. My co-workers were invested – characters’ bad behavior offended them on an ideological level and they seemed to care about contestants’ advancement. As far as reality television shows go, this one isn’t too bad. From what I remember, people engage with each other and work towards a common goal. The contestants are shown actually doing stuff. Of course, this got me thinking about America’s weird obsession with reality TV.
If someone exhibits uncommon traits, humans naturally take notice. This is quite evident when considering the “freak shows” of our past. As early as the 16th century in England, people suffering from physical deformities were put on display by enterprising – if unethical – businesspeople (Britannica.com). In America, P.T. Barnum is perhaps the best known for this practice. By Barnum’s time, performers were paid extremely well (En.Wikipedia.org) and many were saved from institutional living because of this financial freedom. However, as science, morals and disability rights progressed, “freak shows” fell out of favor (Priceconomics.com).
Since we are now an empathetic species, we no longer partake in anything as exploitive as these dishonorable past times – except when we do. For example, in 2012, cable TV’s TLC debuted a “five-part miniseries involving four morbidly obese patients” (En.Wikipedia.org) called My 600lb Life. This series followed people as they attempted to lose enough weight to safely qualify for bariatric surgery. However, since the show was so wildly popular, TLC began airing the show on a weekly basis. This is a sad indictment on both America’s health and sensibilities. The popcorn munching masses tuned in each week to cringe, judge and (is it possible?) feel better about themselves. Obviously, the only differences between this and “freak shows” of old is the comfort and anonymity of the viewer.
Another quasi-public service program is A&E’s Intervention. This show features people suffering from horrific substance abuse issues while their families try to get them into treatment. The addicts are filmed going about their addicted lives, often shown doing highly embarrassing, illegal and dangerous things. The final payoff is when the addict, filmed months later and happy, has renounced drugs forever. While over 30 people have died as a result of substance abuse after being filmed (NickiSwift.com), it’s fairly obvious that these addicts were never treated as legitimate sick people. Instead, it appears that they were only important until the primetime ratings came in.
Profiting from human frailty and disability is disturbing. While TV’s “freak shows” might include high end graphics, they are no more noble than their darkened tent, sawdust on the floor, ancestors. Put bluntly, the proper word for entertainment gained from suffering is “sadism.” As the people of the past turned their faces from exploitive amusements, I think we might want to do the same.
You will, most likely, never see camera crews at Bourke Accounting. Although Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers are intelligent and talented, watching them work isn’t extraordinarily interesting. Now that I think about it, I could picture a Bourke Accounting expert on America’s Got Talent. There is no one who can process paperwork as quickly and as accurately as a Bourke Accounting professional.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.
I was leaving my little corner of Bourke Accounting when a friend sent me a text about an NPR program that I just had to listen to. I said that I would, but I wasn’t planning on it (while I am notorious for “yessing” people, I am working hard on changing this behavior). Before signing off, my friend added that it was a recent Terry Gross interview with Howard Stern. All right, I became a little interested.
Growing up both in the North, and attending a Catholic school, I listened to Howard Stern religiously. He was naughty and sexual; his morning crew was made up of deranged people and he talked about bodily functions. In short, his radio show was tailormade for grade schoolers. In addition, since he was still on terrestrial radio at the time, it was pretty tame. As I got older, however, I lost my attraction to the show. His constant sexism was tedious and degrading, his guests, and the humiliating antics they subjected themselves to, grew pathetic and, ultimately, I found Stern irrelevant – the one trick the pony knew had become dusty and stale.
When I settled in to listen to the December 2019 interview, I expected Stern to start by inquiring about Gross’ bra size. Instead, Stern talked about his ongoing psychotherapy and devastating childhood traumas. He admitted that when he looked back, his past tended to “trouble” (12/31/19 NPR interview) him, as he had grown as a person. Stern also acknowledged that a lot of his outlandish behavior was caused by a desperate need for validation and ratings. I was stunned to find that “Fartman” had grown up.
What is perhaps the most stunning aspect of Stern’s transformation is the backlash from former fans. For example, Bruce Bawer, writing for City-Journal.org, lambasted Stern for “bowing to the king to win favor at court.” Bawer intimated that Stern’s exhibition of introspection and inclusivity made for “a sad spectacle” (City-Journal.org). Bawer also accused Stern of “disowning the best part of his” craft (City-Journal.org). Bawer might want to rethink his philosophy if he believes Stern’s “best part” was coercing women to do gross things for breast enhancement surgery.
It’s a distasteful human trait, but a lot of people just don’t enjoy it when others fix themselves. I find it despicable when people I know accuse newly sober friends of being boring. I don’t know how to tell you this, but talking at someone in a coma is a lot more boring than engaging in a coherent conversation. You don’t have to be a shrink to know that some folks fear their friends changing. It’s comforting to know that, come Friday night, Mike is going to be a drooling mess at the end of the bar. However, if Mike, instead, spends Friday helping out at the soup kitchen, it causes one to look at their own life choices.
Selfishly, some of us like having that one friend to look down on. This toxic thinking makes certain people feel better about themselves: my life is bad, but at least it’s not as bad as so and so’s life. When the other person first makes positive changes and then – gasp! – actually surpasses her/his “friend’s” accomplishments, the friendship dynamic is forever changed.
To put it bluntly, encourage and support positive change in each other. If a friend is leaving you behind, then work harder to keep up! A true friend doesn’t want someone to look down on, a true friend wants eye contact with an equal.
Bourke Accounting experts want their clients to thrive. Besides the fact that Bourke Accounting pros are pretty altruistic, there is an ulterior motive: if you don’t succeed, Bourke Accounting doesn’t succeed. In symbiotic relationships, such as the one you share with your Bourke Accounting specialists, we’re all on the same team, here to fortify each other.
Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!
Written by Sue H.