By the time you read this, Bourke Accounting will be welcoming Phil and Bill back (with socially distanced and virtual open arms) from vacation. I am a little wary about traveling right now, but I’ve come to learn that my Bourke co-workers aren’t as insanely, overly cautious as I am. Since there are a lot of you swashbucklers out there, I figured it was a good time to talk about airline etiquette.

We aren’t savages, but sometimes, we forget ourselves and allow our baser natures to take over. Oddly enough, this happens most often when the repercussions are greatest. So, in order to avoid federal charges and annoying your fellow travelers, here are a few tips to remember while flying:

1. Take a shower. It doesn’t matter how red-eye your flight is, someone will be sitting next to you. Once the smell of your mocha wears off, the aroma of your unwashed pits will insidiously poke at your row mate’s nostrils. Likewise, don’t douse yourself in perfume/cologne; a subtle scent in the office will become a headache-inducing icepick to the brains of those sharing your enclosed space. Finally, keep your shoes on (experience has taught me that this advice is needed). While plane air is pretty clean – a Boeing’s cabin air is “completely refreshed in under five minutes” (Thedrive.com) – those can be a long five minutes if you’re forced to inhale the nervous sweat of exposed piggies.

2. The person in the center seat gets both armrests. End of discussion.

3. Be kind if a larger person is sitting next to you. Obviously, we don’t like our personal space to be invaded. Ken Friedlander hates it so much that he invented a plastic little partition called “Create-A-Space” that fits on the armrest and ensures that everyone stays on their side. Most larger travelers are aware of their size and will purchase two seats. However, I’ve flown miserably on account of someone not quite so self-aware. Yes, I hated it, yes, I thought nasty thoughts and no, I did not create a disturbance. I took the attendant aside and, quietly, asked about a seat change, which was impossible on the packed flight. The man beside me was visibly embarrassed and attempted to make himself smaller. It might not have been fair to me, but I finally convinced him to just relax. Being squished for two hours wasn’t worth eviscerating a stranger’s self-esteem.

4. Don’t be that lady. Recently, three women attacked Spirit Airlines workers because their flight was delayed. They threw things, kicked, punched and stole one employee’s phone. The victims were basically the equivalent of restaurant greeters, with no control over delays. No matter how stressed you are over your itinerary, striking the person behind the counter is not going to end well for anyone. Keep your hands to yourself and remember delays aren’t forever.

Adventure and travel are good for the soul. However, you don’t want your adventure to start before you leave the state and you don’t want to travel to the county lock-up. When roving in these weird times, remember that everyone is on edge. I’m not saying that we should be scared of each other – I’m just saying that, in these days, an elbow armrest war could end in an unanticipated way.

Whether it’s tax deadlines or travel, Bourke Accounting pros know the importance of keeping a cool head. No matter what sort of calamity you are experiencing, your Bourke Accounting expert can lead you through it with the calmness and knowledge of a seasoned Sherpa. And when you’re done getting the best of Bourke Accounting’s advice, you can swap vacation pictures!

Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See you soon!

Written by Sue H.