The Bourke Accounting website declares that we think “tax and accounting work is fun” and you are invited to come play with us. If you’ve ever sat down with a Bourke tax preparer or bookkeeper, you know that this is true; our staff likes to laugh. From the music that constantly plays to the sleepy dogs in the corners, we offer a casual and welcoming atmosphere – the Commes des Garcons suit jackets and tasteful art seem to be the only indications that you haven’t stumbled upon a hippie commune.
While Bourke is relaxed (and relaxing), don’t let appearances fool you. When it comes to their calling, our specialists are deadly serious. At the end of your consultation, your associate will have already figured out at least two options to maximize your benefits and keep you on the up and up. Oh, and don’t let those nice personalities be mistaken for weakness: if the IRS wants to play, Bourke welcomes them, too.
Since restrictions have eased, many of you might be considering traveling now. Before you cuddle up to unfamiliar animals, keep in mind that – much like Bourke associates – there are a lot of things in this world that aren’t exactly what they seem:
1) Platypuses. What possible danger could this mishmash of fuzzy, duck-billed, web-footed, egg-laying mammal pose? As it turns out, venomous platypus feet are a thing. When the platypus boys get in the mood, the spurs by their cute lil toes fill up with venom. Much like drunken guys at last call, male platypuses will fight for love. Platypus venom isn’t lethal to humans, but the neurotoxin in it drops the victim’s blood pressure, causes cold sweats, nausea and excruciating, long-lasting pain (Slate.com); the pain is so bad that our painkillers can’t even touch it. If stabbed by a platypus, your doc will inject you with local anesthesia and you’ll get to wait it out (Slate.com). The upshot is that sometimes a wave is better than a cuddle.
2) Flannel Moth Caterpillars. In Kentucky, we know the snakes that should be avoided, but we don’t generally think chubby, lumbering caterpillars can make us hurt. This is exactly the problem when considering the tribble-reminiscent flannel moth caterpillar. While they’re not hunting humans on purpose, their bodies are covered with “hollow, venom-filled quills” (Lawnstarter.com). Brush up against one of these loveable creatures and the contact can lead to severe pain, swelling and intestinal problems (Lawnstarter.com). Problematically, every person reacts differently: while one individual can experience discomfort, another can end up in the hospital with organ shutdown (Insider.com). It pays to remember that not every caterpillar is Alice’s harmless and stoned philosopher.
3) Slow Loris. Imagine the cutest, big-eyed Disney creature in the universe. Then imagine the creature with poisoned elbows (pictured above). This Asian native is the only known venomous primate that can cause your death (Popsci.com). When slow lorises are threatened, they raise their arms over their heads, dance around like a cobra, lick the crooks of their arms (to activate their venom) and bite. The venom contains around 200 volatile components and, just for fun, “the structure of the venom is not yet known” (Bioweb.uwlax.edu). In addition, it smells really bad. Without medical intervention, Gizmo could end you.
Before canoodling with a strange, adorable creature, it pays to do research. Likewise, before diving into a relationship with an unknown professional, you should examine credentials – not every pro is a Bourke pro.
Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers don’t have time for IRS investigations. Because of this, Bourke Accounting experts keep it simple by following the rules. While you can share a laugh with your Bourke Accounting envoy, rest assured that the advice you receive will never come with poison elbows or venomous feet spurs.
Written by Sue H.