You know that we are animal friendly at Bourke Accounting. Both Bill and Bookkeeper Christina like dogs. Some Bourke Accounting experts like unicorns, some prefer kitties, some really dig birds. And of course, I want to be a panther. All of these animals, both real and fantastical, are super cool. However, there is one animal that is the stuff of nightmares – swimming around right now – and it’s weirder than anything H.P. Lovecraft ever thought of.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce my favorite obsession: The Deep-Sea Anglerfish.

So, what makes the deep-sea angler fish so interesting? Well, as you can see above, this is one frightening looking fishy; between the huge underbite, the needle-like teeth and the weird bioluminescent doodad that hangs from her head, she’s, most likely, not someone you’d like to share a bubble bath with. I am not being sexist by using the feminine pronoun; only female deep-sea anglerfish have the shiny head thingamajig.

Besides looking fascinatingly alien, most of these fish live in desolate environments: 3,000 feet below the surface in the Atlantic and Antarctic oceans (Nationalgeographic.com). Down there, it’s dark and it’s freezing and these weird little guys have evolved to significantly impressive levels. The glowing head lure that the females sport is “filled with bacteria that make their own light” (Oceana.org). This lure attracts “pelagic crustaceans, fish, and other prey” (Oceana.org) way down in the depths.

The female angler is about the size of a football while the male is about the “size of a small finger” (Seasky.org). Nothing strange about that – a lot of species have size discrepancies between female and male members. Male deep-sea anglerfish also don’t have glow sticks stuck to their noggins. Again, nothing odd there, a lot of animals have different appearances depending on sex. The most truly bizarre aspect of these guys is the way in which they mate.

As the little male deep-sea anglerfish gets older, his “digestive system degenerates, making it impossible for [him] to feed on [his] own” (Seasky.org). Well, that seems like a design flaw, right? Flawed maybe, but the boys make up for this short-coming when a lady angler enters the picture. Once the comparatively tiny male finds his sweetheart, he bites her. Then he “releases an enzyme that dissolves the skin of his mouth and that of her body” (Seasky.org). Having done this, the male is now being fed by the female’s blood and, eventually, the male’s “eyes and fins atrophy away” (Wired.com). Oh, but his…um…man parts stay intact (yup, man parts just kind of stuck to the side of her body). This way, when the female is ready to “spawn, she has a mate instantly available” (Seasky.org). The female can accommodate around six males and once you’re hooked on her, you are hooked for life. Sadly, only about “one percent of males” (Wired.com) find true love; the wallflowers are left to die of starvation.

Although it seems like the world is getting strange these days, if you think about it, the world has always been strange – the romantic world of the deep-sea anglerfish is all the evidence required.

Much like my beloved anglerfish, Bourke Accounting pros are adaptable and evolve as our strange world dictates. Whether it’s helping you to navigate your small business relief package or planning for a different economy, your Bourke Accounting bookkeepers and tax preparers are up to date on all of the changes in our new and different world.

Come see us any time. Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com. See You Soon!

Written by Sue H.