I’m going to stop writing about the coronavirus for a while, but I just had to tell you one last thing.  I can honestly say that the adaptability of the human animal is absolutely astounding and never fails to stun me.

Since social distancing was introduced, I asked Bill what was going to happen to the people who make their living by…um…being really physically close to other people.  Again, he gave me his “seriously, I don’t even remember hiring you” look and walked away.  All right, I decided that I’d find this out for myself.

Problematically, as I have discovered, America’s adult entertainers are generally considered independent contractors, “meaning they don’t have paid sick leave or other benefits” – this includes unemployment benefits – if they suddenly find themselves out of work (Rollingstone.com – I won’t be including links to these specific articles, as some of these pictures are a little risqué).  According to the IRS, one is not an independent contractor if the services performed can be controlled by an employer.  Basically, an exotic dancer is considered the same as a hairdresser or a tattoo artist (NYPost.com), because, like those professions, an adult entertainer is not working with a scripted work day.

So, Shon Boulden, owner of Oregon’s adult entertainment club, the Lucky Devil Lounge, came up with an idea to help his uncomfortable panty wearing workers: Bo*ber Eats (I’m not sure if I can use that word).  The Lucky Devil Lounge, besides showcasing dancing ladies, also serves food.  Like Uber Eats, Boulden decided to start a delivery service for his bar food, with a little bit of a twist.  Say you want some chicken strips.  You call and, for an additional delivery fee of $30, two ladies show up at your house, dance around your lawn for a little bit and everyone’s happy (NYPost).  Besides allowing dancers to keep working, Boulden also has his bouncers go along for the ride to make sure no one tries to make themselves too happy.

Of course, I don’t believe for a second that Boulden is a completely altruistic guy who only cares about his financially unprotected workers’ needs.  However, the more people who can stay employed at this point is for the best.  Naturally, these people aren’t making their normal amount of cash nightly, but I think every bit helps.

What if you own an adult entertainment venue, but aren’t really into food delivery?  Ryan Carlson of Las Vegas’ Little Darlings has decided to “offer drive-up window strip shows” (RGJ.com).  That’s right, for one hundred dollars, you can sit in your car and watch people do things for ten minutes.  This establishment is also going to introduce sanitizer wrestling (I don’t believe the combatants will be dressed).  Again, it’s a good thing to keep people working.  More importantly, it’s a good thing to try to hold onto a sense of humor during rough times.

As I said, we are very adaptable creatures.  I’m not saying that the lemons we’ve been handed are apt to make the best lemonade, but with innovative ideas, at least we have a chance at being sustained.

Bourke Accounting tax preparers and bookkeepers won’t wrestle each other in hand sanitizer, clothed or otherwise.  However, we’re still open and, from a distance, we’re still providing the best in financial guidance.  Hopefully soon, we’ll be able to get back to normal and you’ll be able to actually shake hands with your Bourke Accounting specialist again.  For some reason, though, I think dancing ladies delivering food might be a thing from now on.

Come see us any time.  Our number is 502-451-8773 and don’t forget to visit our website at www.bourkeaccounting.com.  See you soon!

Written by Sue H.